Mid-Movember

18 Nov

Eighteen days ago, 110,860 Canadian men shaved their faces clean and began letting the whiskers over their lip go in support of Movember, a moustache-growing extravaganza to raise funds and awareness of prostate and testicular cancers. This event began in Melbourne, Australia to bring awareness to men’s cancers and to have a laugh by temporarily resurrecting the moustache (aka the “Mo”).

Movember gets bigger every year and I’m delighted to find that Canadian men have taken this initiative seriously and are really getting involved. According to the latest on the Movember website, Canadian men are leading in fund-raising – many individuals and teams from law firms, banks, and other businesses are supporting the cause and saying ‘no’ to steel under their noses for the month of November.

110,860 wonderful Canadian men are supporting the brotherhood in Movember – it warms my heart! 110,860 agents spreading the word and raising money for men’s cancers – brilliant! That gives us 110,860 newly-sprouted moustaches…uh, hooray.

On average, a man with a moustache touches it 760 times in every 24 hour period.

One of the Movember rules is to grow and groom the moustache. It seems to me that the best and most creative moustache groomers live in Australia, where Mos are carved and shaped into fantastical facial art. Unfortunately, I’m just not seeing the same thing in Toronto. Our guys are not holding up their end of the grooming deal and they look as though they’re in pain.

If I was a guy taking part in Movember, I’d embody the points of the Mo brotherhood, like a man who grows a Mo knows how to rock. When that time comes he likes his good times great and his volume turned to eleven! Yeah, that’s what I’d do. I’d take it over the top and grow a Salvador Dali just for the fun of it – it would be like wearing a costume every day!

So I think about how much fun a guy could have with a moustache, but I look around me and I see Toronto Mos looking like they just want to get it over with.  Most Toronto moustaches I’ve seen are flaccid, patchy, and ashamed of themselves.  I mean, I was out on Monday night (dinner and a super cool soul singer) and most of the guys I saw with moustaches had a look of embarassment to them, there wasn’t a lot of eye contact, and they kept their heads down.

I expect that despite the excitement of being involved in a cool fundraising event, growing a moustache must be humiliating. Take my friend Chris. He’s looking forward to December 1 when he can shave off what is turning out to be “the worst moustache ever worn by a homo sapien”:

This is one the one time of year when men who have no business sporting moustaches get to grow them without fear of being ostracized. Movember is like a get out of jail free card for any guy who’s been curious about how he’d look in moustache but was afraid the girls he hits on will think he looks like a convicted sex offender. “Hey, it’s Movember” you say, and people gloss over the possibly ill-advised strip of hair about your lip, in the same way they eventually gloss over costumes at a Halloween party.  (more)

Women want to support you whiskered warriors and we are empathetic towards your plight this month (though I don’t know how many of us want to put up with a ‘stache after Movember – I know I don’t). One option as suggested by asylum.com is that today, November 18, is Have Sex with a Guy with a Mustache Day. Asylum asks women of the world to use our vaginas to make a difference and “bone down with a dude that has a moustache”,  get your “cookie dusted”,  and “enjoy a guy who’s pencil-thin where it counts!” For those women taking part, remember, you’re not a whore if it’s for charity!

Fellas, you’ve done well and you’re almost through – only 12 more sleeps before you can take down the ‘stache (as savagely and as ruthlessly as you wish, but be sure to first trim the long whiskers then soften them with warm water and / or a facial scrub before you shave).  But while you are victoriously removing the 4-week hangover, feel good that you did something physically silly in the name of something serious, and collectively took another step toward keeping men healthy, now and in the future.

Thank you.

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2 Responses to “Mid-Movember”

  1. Daniel Nargang November 18, 2010 at 8:15 pm #

    I think a guy could do about anything for a good cause. I just can’t bring myself to grow a ‘stache without getting sick and itchy !

  2. Leah Morrigan November 22, 2010 at 10:23 am #

    I stand corrected – while at the gym this weekend, I saw a guy with a fantastical moustache that swirled onto his cheeks! It was wonderful and inspiring! I wish I could see more of these in my city…

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