Damn dirty glasses and how to keep them clean

16 Apr

dirty eye glassesOne day I was driving with a friend who wore his fancy new Coach sunglasses. I didn’t notice the greasy fingerprint on the lower third of the right lens until he turned his head towards me. I thought to myself, it doesn’t matter how expensive your sunglasses are; dirty lenses cancel out any effort to try to look cool.

I remember as a kid, I always wanted to wear eye glasses but never needed to; now that I need them, I find I have mixed feelings towards them. I got my very first pair of eye glasses less than a year ago because I need them to read and see fine detail, so I appreciate them because they help me see. At the same time, because I only need glasses to read, I find myself taking them off and on a lot during the day and this makes them dirty, and therefore something of a pain in the ass.

I checked in with some friends who regularly wear glasses to see how they fare with keeping their glasses clean. Turns out that all of them complain about dirty glasses. From their comments, I’ve learned that I’m not alone – my friends say that their glasses get dirty depending on what they’re doing: some say that bad weather makes eye glasses dirty, housework makes them dirty, gardening makes them dirty, and cooking makes them dirty; others say perspiration and wearing moisturizer makes them dirty. Some people say that the types of coatings (i.e. anti-glare) we choose for our lenses attracts dirt and oil, others say that lenses made of plastic are more prone to smudges than glass lenses. I’ve also heard that plastic frames sit closer to the face and will get greasier from skin oils than metal frames which sit further away from the face.

Whatever the case, eyeglasses get dirty, and when you can’t see through them, you’re somewhat handicapped AND they look awful.

What can we do?

In a Wall Street Journal article, Teri Geist, chairwoman for the American Optometric Association, says, “The best way to clean your glasses is to run them under warm water and put a tiny drop of dish washing detergent on the tip of your fingers to create a lather on the lens. Then rinse with warm water, and dry with a clean, soft cotton cloth.” I tried this last night and it seems to work, but a word of caution: I’ve witnessed a friend with fancy new eye glasses with all of the coating options wash his glasses with soap and water, and over time, the coatings began to peel away, leaving cloudy and irreparable lenses.

Dr. Geist warns that “Lenses typically have some form of protective coating and should never come into contact with ammonia, bleach, vinegar or window cleaner. Those chemicals can break down the coating or just strip them”. This is where spray lens cleaners come in. I understand that there are different types for different coatings, so use the correct spray for your specific lens coatings. For a DIY option, instructables.com suggests a simple 60% isopropyl alcohol/40% water solution used in a spray bottle instead of commercial lens cleaners. Try one of these methods instead of breathing on your lenses and wiping with your shirt tails, paper towels, or Kleenex, which can scratch your lenses because the fibers are not necessarily smooth and can leave debris behind.

Microfiber cleaning cloths

Much of what I’ve read raves about microfiber cleaning cloths that keep glasses smudge-free. Microfiber fabric is a very fine synthetic textile that is so dense, it won’t leave streaks. Good ones will last for years. But the cheap ones will wreak havoc on your specs and undoubtedly drive you mad.

Did I ever tell you the story of my microfiber dish rag? It worked wonderfully at first, then I started to notice that no matter how much soap I used in the sink, the dishes had an oily film on them. I couldn’t figure out why until I examined my dish cleaning tools and noticed that the microfiber cloth also felt greasy, and I decided that the cheap synthetic was decomposing and returning to its former state: oil.

I have microfiber lens cloths that seem to do the same thing. Microfiber is made of petrochemicals and not biodegradable. The David Suzuki Foundation sees pros and cons to this textile. These cloths lift dirt and grease from surfaces but “are made from a non-renewable resource and do not biodegrade. And only those made from polypropylene are recyclable,” the site says. One good thing about microfiber cloths is that they eliminate the need for wasteful paper towels and napkins, etc., and can be washed in the machine in cool water (avoid fabric softener which will leave a film on your lenses), and I recommend to air dry them instead of putting them in the dryer. Watch this how-to short video by an optometrist for more information.

Pieces of cotton can work just as well though there may be more dust due to loose cotton fibers in the fabric, which would not be present in microfiber. I just experimented with a thin silk scarf and it worked wonderfully! No streaks and no debris left behind.

TIP: Through your cleaning cloth, lightly use your fingernail to get into the edges of your lenses between the frame – dust seems to collect in these crevices.

Wearing cool eye glasses or sun glasses can instantly update your look, but with style comes a cost. I completely understand that keeping one’s glasses clean is a nagging daily job and there is no permanent solution, so it is a cross we with bad eyesight must bear.

As an image consultant, I can say that from an objective viewpoint, dirty glasses don’t say good things about us, but now that I wear glasses and I know how quickly they dirty,  I completely empathize and understand the misguided criticism of dirty eye glasses because they’re nearly impossible to keep clean! It seems that I could continuously clean my glasses all day and they’d still get smudged, but I make the effort because looking good is one thing, but being able to see is priceless.

Z-z-z… Snoring, sleep apnea, and your health

2 Apr

snoringHow many of you are aware of what you do while you’re sleeping? Do you think you sleep sweetly and silently, like an angel? Many of us think we’re quiet, restful sleepers, but this is often far from the truth. You could be one of hundreds of thousands of men who suffer from sleep-disordered breathing.

Snoring is the partial blockage of the airway by the tongue which causes the tissue in the throat to vibrate. Sleep apnea is a complete blockage of the air passage that jolts the sleeper awake when they do not receive oxygen. Both disturbances can result in daytime sleepiness which affects our ability to concentrate, manoeuver, and remember.

Oxygen and sleep deprivation are much more than feeling sleepy. Southern Ontario’s Sleep Well centres explains that snoring is a health risk that increases the risk of heart attacks and high blood pressure, and is associated with irritability, depression, and motor accidents. Sleep apnea is a more serious condition because it affects heart function. During an apneic episode, the sleeper’s tongue blocks the airway, and the oxygen deprivation causes the brain to release adrenaline which increases the heart rate. This can lead to a heart attack.

“Sleep apnea can affect people in three ways,” says Dr. David Engelberg of Altima Health’s Sleep Well Centres in downtown Toronto. “Sleep apnea puts patients at risk for developing cardiac arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat), and is a risk factor for other medical illnesses like heart disease, heart attacks, high blood pressure (hypertension), and stroke. Sleep apnea also affects relationships with partners and spouses, and ultimately, your sleep quality.”

Sleep apnea and gender

Sleep apnea affects 1 in 10 Canadians and of those, 90% are men. Obesity is a key factor in sleep disturbance, and theories suggest that body mass make men more susceptible to sleep apnea. Men have larger tongues and soft palettes, and thicker necks than women, and these factors increase the likelihood of the airway to collapse.

Data published in sleep journals suggest varying symptoms between men and women; one gender-related article discusses women’s obstructed sleep apnea symptoms to include insomnia,  restless legs, depression, nightmares, heart palpitations, and hallucinations, while men are more likely to snore and experience full apneic episodes. Both sexes are susceptible to serious illnesses associated with sleep disturbances.

Even though sleep disturbances are not life-threatening on their own, they are often associated with other serious illnesses. Dr. Engelberg often encounters denial among his patients when he brings up snoring or sleep apnea. I don’t snore! they insist, to which he responds, How would you know? You’re asleep.

He sees the stigma around men and (admitting to) illness; men adhering to that inner voice that tells them to toughen up and suck it up, and men who proclaim, I’m a man and I can snore! I don’t have a problem! In other words, men who follow gender codes that prevent them from asking for help when they need it.

Interestingly, an Australian medical article reported on obstructive sleep apnea in women and found that socialization also plays a role in whether women will seek help for sleep disturbances. Though adults of any age can have sleep apnea, the risk of developing it increases with age. Gender roles taken on by older adults are still ingrained in many of them, so the researcher’s findings about women’s reluctance is not surprising: “Women may consider their own snoring “unladylike” and therefore be less likely to mention it.” Consequently, women are often misdiagnosed.

You don’t have to suffer

Taking the time to deny a condition can increase the severity and the risk of further damage. Deterrents like denial or finances can cause unnecessary suffering, but there are options.

If you are one of the wise who accept their sleep condition and seek help for it, you may have heard of the CPAP (continuous positive air pressure) machine that helps sleepers breathe through a mask at night. A basic model is covered by OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan – check your provincial healthcare office to see if you are eligible for a CPAP). There are different CPAP models from little machines with an oxygen hose that sit on a stand beside the bed, to styles that carry the mechanism in wearable headgear. Not exactly the sexiest little number to wear to bed, but if it’s a matter of getting rest or not, it’s always worth a try. Some people have luck with it, others not.

Those who find the CPAP cumbersome will opt for a sleep appliance that is a mouth tray that forces the jaw forward to keep the throat open during sleep. Many patients see their health issues greatly lessen with the appliance, and they can finally have a good  sleep without disturbing anyone they happen to be sleeping beside. Dentists can often help with sleep appliances for snoring and sleep apnea, so visit yours if you suspect sleep disturbance.

Clothing, costume, identity, and lack thereof

19 Mar

Clothing is a wonderful thing. Clothing is a wonderful palette with many options to play with like colour, garment cut, and guardfabric texture. One of my favourite things to do is get dressed and express myself through my clothing. For me, clothing and dressing is a joy.

Clothing is also heavy with significance and symbolism. Sure, we might need clothing to protect us, but as humans, we love to add meaning to things that have no meaning, and so the costume – and the identity wrapped within it, is born.

In The Language of Clothes, Alison Lurie states that through time, humans have silently communicated with one another through the language of their garb: “Long before I am near enough to talk to you on the street, in a meeting, or at a party, you announce your sex, age, and class to me through what you are wearing [including how you style your hair, decorate your body, and accessorize] – and very possibly give me important information (or misinformation) as to your occupation, origin, personality, opinions, tastes, sexual desires, and current mood.” (AKA the unspoken messages of our visual image.)

If clothing is the thing, costume is the meaning of the thing.

According to Francois Boucher in 20,000 Years of Fashion, “clothing has to do with covering one’s body, and costume with the choice of a particular form of garment for a particular use.” Clothing is more of a survival tactic and relies on textile manufacture and the technology of the time period; it is utilitarian, protective, and worn out of necessity.

Clothing protects us from the elements and from injury, and without it, humanity would not have flourished – nude humans could not survive cold climates we would probably all live close to the equator. Without clothing, playing sports would be suicide sans protective cups and shin guards. There is a good chance that we all may live in grass huts for want of steel-toed boots that protect our construction workers during the building process.

Costume, on the other hand, “reflects social factors such as religious beliefs, magic, aesthetics, personal status, the wish to be distinguished from or to emulate one’s fellows,” Boucher says, adding that “costume helps inspire fear or impose authority” – think warrior’s face paint and horned helmets to scare the opposing side in battle.

“In later times,” he continues, “professional or administrative costume has been devised to distinguish the wearer and to express personal or delegated authority” – think lawyer’s robes, a police uniform, a  business suit, or a surgeon’s scrubs.

We rely on visual cues to tell us who (we think) people are and illustrate who we are as individuals, but if those cues are taken away, what are we left with?

Uniforms: the removal of individuality

People looking uniform in their uniforms may be pleasing to the eye, but Lurie says that no matter what sort of uniform is worn, “military, civil or religious; the outfit of a general, a postman, a nun, a butler, a football player or a waitress – to put on such livery is to give up one’s right to act as an individual.”

Let’s take the military as our example. The military strips people of their identity by removing the visual cues that make them up, shaving their heads, and dressing them in identical costumes, to turn them into unquestioning, order-following soldiers. In the military, there are no individuals, only teams of soldiers in crew cuts.

The first thing to go when one enters the military is the hair. Hair, Sampson’s strength and our crowning glory, has a lot of ego and identity wrapped up into it, and it is the first sacrifice of obedience and submission to the armed forces. We are very attached to our hair, and I expect that having one’s head shaved must reduce the sense of self to some degree, though a soldier must feel solace being in the company of others who look just like he does.

Have a look at Elvis Presley preparing for the army – he seems to take it in stride, but then again, no one can deny his identity – he’s Elvis.

Next, your clothing is taken away and replaced with a uniform, identical to the rest in your company. No more cues as to who you are or what you stand for as an individual – you are now in a system that wants you to focus your whole being on your job. Military people do everything together, they live together, eat together, and train together. It seems that the military turns individuals into multi-person machines set on particular orders. Indeed, Lurie writes that the “uniform acts as a sign that we need not and should not treat someone as a human being, and that they need not and should not treat us as one.”

Ooh! I don’t like that much. I know that wearing a uniform is right for some people, but that doesn’t mean that I understand it. I’m very supportive of exploring one’s own identity and individuality – we are all different from each other and anyone who has or will be, so I’m not sure what drives people to sign away their individuality and look like everyone else.

Strip search

Our clothing gives us a sense of modest security and shields our vulnerability; there is confidence in clothing. But what happens when our clothing is forcibly removed? CBC’s The Current reported about strip searches this week, stating the Supreme Court of Canada’s 2001 decision prohibiting strip searches as a routine police practise, and allowing these searches only out of clear necessity or in emergency situations, with the permission of a supervisor, and performed by same-sex officers.

David Tanovich, the lawyer representing Ian Golden, a black man who was striped searched in a downtown Toronto restaurant in 2001, states that strip search practises by Toronto police are a “highly intrusive method of police intimidation.” The African-Canadian legal clinic got involved in the case, identifying Golden’s treatment as a “public lynching”.

Earlier that year, 69 year old Rosie Schwartz attended a peaceful protest in Toronto and was arrested and strip searched by Toronto police after she was told she was trespassing. She describes the strip search experience as a traumatic and demeaning assault, and says “I felt like nothing.” She sued the police in small claims court for unlawful arrest and illegal search and won.

Despite the Supreme Court ruling, strip searches are still performed and have come into the spotlight again with the recent trial of the 2008 strip search of Stacy Bonds by Ottawa police. Ms Bonds, arrested without reason, was not only roughed up by four Ottawa police, but her shirt and bra were cut off with scissors by the officers. Bonds described her treatment by police as “verbal and mental rape”. The Ottawa Citizen reports that the case against Bonds was halted by the judge who found the Ottawa police’s arrest of Bonds unlawful and called her subsequent treatment in the cells and the strip search a “travesty” and an “indignity.”

*                              *                                *                              *                                  *

What we wear protects us, keeps our modesty in check, enhances or diminishes body features, operates as our billboard, and is a part of who we are. When it is removed and replaced with a uniform, we become a different person, and when it is removed by force, it can be horribly traumatic and humiliating.

Without clothing, we are physically and emotionally unprotected. Without the identity cues of costume, we have little opportunity to visually express ourselves and show who we are. Without clothing and the meanings we associate with clothing, who would you be?

Declare war on salt!

5 Mar

I’ve had too many pairs of winter boots destroyed by road salt and I’m mad as hell!

salt winter boots

My disgusting, now defunct suede winter boots eaten by salt. Even the zippers are salt-dried. What a waste.

In Ontario, where I currently live, road salt is used so heavily that the streets are white with it and there is fine white salt powder on everything. Salt is a highly corrosive mineral that leaves a mark on not only our footwear, but damages nature, metals, and building materials.

Catherine Houska, metallurgical engineer, says that despite environmental concerns, salt for de-icing changes the chemistry of soil, is harmful to plants, trees, and fish, and it’s use continues to grow–even “sunbelt” cities now stock salt for freezing rain.

After reading Houska’s Deicing Salt: Recognizing the Corrosion Threat, I realize just how damaging and far-reaching salt pollution is. “Deicing salt poses a significant but often unrecognized corrosion threat to architectural metals and other construction materials,” Houska writes. “Seasonal deicing salt accumulations have been documented up to 1.9 km from busy roadways and as high as the 59th floor of a high-rise building.”

Overuse of road salt in Ontario wreaks havoc on land and crops that we need to eat. In a recent legal case in Ontario, farmers sued the local government for losses on their crops due to the use of road salt and won. With any luck, this case will set a precedent and the use of corrosive de-icing salts and the destructive effects on land and vegetation will be examined and changes made, possibly moving us to a non-corrosive grit for winter traction like sand, used in places like Saskatchewan and in Russia.

Salt’s corrosive nature can eat its way through even the thickest treated leathers. This winter, I watched my once-waterproof suede boots destroyed by road salt to the degree that water seeped into the outside of the boot and left my feet wet, plus, they look so awful that I am embarrassed to wear them, despite spraying with protective footwear products and regular cleanings with water and vinegar to neutralize salt’s corrosive effects. The salt literally ate through the suede and dried out the zipper so much that they are useless now. So what do I do with them? Thousands of boots and shoes have been rendered useless after being eaten by salt, and most of these will find themselves in landfills, adding to our polluted world. There must be an alternative.

The switch to synthetics

Though I’m not a fan of synthetics, once my suede boots went down, I decided that I will not throw any more money away on leather or suede (to be honest, I’ve decided not to wear leather anything anymore because of the animal cruelty and environmental pollution involved in the leather-tanning process). I’ve ordered waterproof synthetic boots that salt should brush off of. I reckon that this will prevent a volume of winter boots from going into the landfill because the salt will not corrode this particular material, and the boots will have a longer life, create less waste, and reduce the demand for more boots.

I’ve written before about the downfall of rubber boots in the Huffington Post that are now so cheaply made that they crack after one season’s wear and quickly fill the dump with spent boots. I am a huge supporter of investing in good footwear that is environmentally responsible and that one can maintain with visits to shoe repair shops to stretch the boot’s life. A Canadian company that makes good waterproof boots is Kamik. Kamik boots are recyclable and made of vulcanized rubber (the process in which rubber is heated to a high temperature which binds unstable rubber polymer chains and makes them strong, elastic, and waterproof, as opposed to cheap PVC which easily cracks and is quickly tossed). Even better, some Kamik boot styles are available at your local Canadian Tire store!

What I really like about Kamik boots is that they are serious about sustainabilty. They make boot liners and linings from recycled water bottles; soles are 100% recyclable, and they create “innovative materials like Ecologic Rubber.” Not only does Kamik use recycled products in their footwear, they also offer a recycling program on some styles: Our shoes last a really long time, but when you’ve worn them into the ground, keep them from getting buried in it by sending them back to us. Brilliant.

Style

Now, many of Kamik’s boots for men are for the outdoors and outdoor activites like farming and winter sport, but what about urban men who wear suits to work? The answer is the coloruful, modern-day Norwegian-designed golash, SWIMS. SWIMS can come in the form of an overshoe or overboot, a stylish alternative to salt-eaten shoes and heavy winter boots. SWIMS has collaborated with the likes of Armani and bootmaker, John Lobb, to bring protective footwear into the stylish spotlight. These products use a type of insulated, tear-resistant rubber to protect your shoes from the ravages of winter moisture. However, I cannot see anything linking sustainability to this company, and that’s unfortunate.

Since most of us do not make governmental decisions about road safety and cannot reduce the use of salt used on roads (though we can contact our local politicians to make our voices heard), our alternative is to choose winter footwear that will last longer than permeable materials like leather, and take them to the shoe maker for repair when needed. Our saving grace would be to wear footwear that we could throw in the blue bin when we’re finished with them, eliminating waste and continuously re-using the boot materials.

There are beginnings of this but nothing is full-blown yet: there are shoe recycling spots (mostly in the U.S. where 300 million pairs of shoes go to landfills each year), Nike has a U.S.-based running shoe recycling program, and we’re stating to see small companies develop recyclable shoes. Excellent steps forward, but for us Canadians, we need responsible, recyclable, waterproof boots.

Anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stress and the man

19 Feb

Leah Morrigan:

From the archives… The differences between the sexes and how they deal with the physical, emotional, and mental effects of stress.

Originally posted on In the Key of He:

stressWe all experience stress in our lives, but we don’t talk about it enough – men especially – but there is growing interest in the topic – upon this writing, “men and stress” catches 239,000,000 Google results.

I spoke to a couple of stress experts through the Distress Centres Ontario (DCO),  a provincial organization that provides support services to lonely, depressed, and suicidal people, often via a 24-hour crisis line.

DCO presented “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly of Stress”, focusing on how to shift from a stress reaction to a support response in our body.

Asha Croggan and Arianne Richeson co-presented the learning event – Asha provides support to crisis lines and suicide networks across Canada and is the Provincial Programs Manager for Suicide and Mental Health Networks, and Arianne Richeson is the Manager of Educational Service at Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region. Below are some…

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Winter skin care

5 Feb
rhino hide

If your skin feels like rhino hide, it’s time to exfoliate!

Winter. The absolute worst time for our skin when moisture is sucked out by dry air and dry heat. By February, you might feel dried out, rough, and scaly–not exactly a nice feeling.

Gents, let’s keep it simple. I understand that some of you don’t pay attention to your skin in the winter (and sometimes the summer) because you think it may be something of a hassle, you don’t have time, or perhaps you may not be conscious of the importance of skin care. Fair enough, but know that skin is our largest organ that protects our internal organs and otherwise holds us together, so it’s wise to take care of it. When it comes to our image, skin properly taken care of will make a better impression on people and it will also feel better to you. Here are three easy ways for a fella to avoid dry and possibly uncomfortable skin during the winter.

1. Avoid hot waterhot water

Though a hot shower will feel good if you’ve got a chill in your bones, it may wreak havoc on your skin. Hot water dries the skin and seems to tighten it. If you have sensitive skin, too-hot a shower can make your whole body turn red and splotchy, and skin can take hours to get back to its normal colour. If you insist on hot showers but don’t like the resulting redness, take your shower at night to allow your skin to return to its natural colour.

The hot water concept applies to other tasks besides bathing. Sensitive types should wear rubber gloves when washing the dishes because wet, sensitive hands can make your life miserable. Once the red, raw, and sometimes scaly patches appear on your knuckles, you could be in for split skin which hurts and opens you to a possible invasion of unwelcome foreign bodies. If you have to wash the dishes with bare hands, dry them thoroughly and apply a hand cream afterward to combat the hot water reaction.

loofah

A loofah is a natural way to exfoliate.

2. Exfoliate

For those of you who don’t know, to exfoliate is to slough off dead skin cells that sit on the surface of our skin, which makes the skin feel dry and look dull. Depending on what colour your skin is, these dead skin cells, depleted of melanin (the cell protein that gives us colour), turns to a pale dust on the skin’s surface. Dead skin cells are more obvious if you have darker skin.

Face: Exfoliation may help you to look younger as you clear away the layers of spent, grey cells that make facial lines appear deeper. There are many types of facial exfoliators that can come in the form of pre-shave scrubs or facial scrubs. When you find one you like, try gently rolling a bit around your eyes to reduce the appearance of deep wrinkles and crow’s feet. Use an eye cream to follow if you have one.

Use exfoliants with natural spheres like rice flour granules, otherwise the small plastic spheres found in commercial cosmetic and grooming exfoliant products pollute lakes and are consumed by marine life which eventually kills them. Know that there is a social and environmental responsibility to everything you purchase.

Body: An easy way to lose the spent cells en masse is to wash with a natural loofah, exfoliating gloves from a drug store, or an exfoliating towel available at the Body Shop. Use soap or a shower gel on your chosen scrubbing tool and use all over your body, but take care to avoid scraping your sensitive man parts (you’ll know when to stop!). No need to press the material against the skin, just use with the same pressure that you would with a wash cloth and presto! your skin is fresh and smooth again! Keep your fresh skin supple with the next step in our simple program: moisturizing.

3. Moisturizecoconut

Bodies feel wonderful and smooth after an exfoliation. Once you’ve done away with the dull cells, follow-up with a natural moisturizer, as the fresh skin is now ready to absorb moisture. Some guys are not into moisturizing, I know, but it makes a huge difference in the winter. A nice (and hopefully natural) moisturizer will soothe your skin and make it less dry, less itchy, and more comfortable. A good one is coconut oil, available at most alternative health stores, or a coco butter option (smells good too!).

I admit to having a natural product bias. It isn’t just because my skin is sensitive; I don’t like the idea of having petrochemicals seep into my system via commercial moisturizers, and I can’t stand the idea of grooming companies testing products on animals. (I don’t think anyone willingly wants a dog or a bunny injected or swabbed with potentially painful or maiming chemicals, so it’s a good idea to check behind the scenes and educate yourself – for a health, environment, and social rating of personal care products, check out the Good Guide for product ratings and decide for yourself.) Make a point of reading product labels and avoid any with parabens, alcohol, or artificial fragrance and colour (almost all products at drug stores contain all or of some of these ingredients). Instead, have a look in a neighbourhood health food store and ask about natural products–the staff is usually knowledgeable about these things.

It doesn’t actually take long to fix up and maintain your skin in winter and taking care of your skin doesn’t make you any less of a man.  I think that men who groom well and take care of themselves are much more appealing and nicer to be around than men who turn away from self-care and leave a trail of dead skin cell dust behind them.

Taking care of one’s self and one’s skin is a reflection of our self-esteem, gents, and it is definitely worth the time. You and your skin are worth the bother.

Spread ’em. Actually, don’t

8 Jan

you balls are not that bigInspired by New York’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority, the move to ban “man-spreading”–men who sit on public transit with their knees spread so far apart that they actually take up seats next to them–has reached Toronto and the Toronto Transit Commission, and it’s caused some interesting gender chatter.

Globe and Mail article on the topic mentions the Canadian Association for Equality (CAE) who started a petition to stop the ban on man-spreading. The group says, “This sets a very bad precedent as men opening their legs is something we have to do due to our biology. It’s physically painful for men to close their legs and we cannot be expected to do so, and it’s also a biological necessity for us to do so.”

According to the petition, a ban on spreading one’s legs would “be a big blow to men’s rights.” Men’s rights to do what? Take up unnecessary space on public transit? To be discourteous to others?

Mike Wood, a volunteer advocacy officer with CAE argues that men should be able to take up as much space as women who board buses with strollers, but he fails to understand that when women bring strollers onto a bus, there is another person in the stroller, and the baby in the stroller needs space, just like any other person.

I wouldn’t agree that testicles have any independent rights and need their own seat on the subway.

 In Heroes, Rogues, and Lovers: Testosterone and Behaviour, James Dabbs describes “panache” as a manner that seeks to get the attention and respect of others. “A person with panache,” he writes, “scores points by looking dominant. Bluffing often works just as well as fighting when it comes to getting attention and respect. Male animals bristle, puff, strut, preen, spread their tail feathers, control space, intimidate their opponents, and show off to get their way and impress the opposite sex.”

Is this not what man-spreading is? Puffing up to take up more space and display some form of power and superiority? Why else would a man would choose to sit in on public transit in a way that exposes his most vulnerable body parts, open to potential contact with knees and parcels at the sudden jolt of an expected brake. If I were a man, I would protect my fragile spheres, not make them targets.

Ball room

Subway behaviour has its own etiquette and etiquette is about respecting other people and making them comfortable. Man-spreading is the opposite of this. Mr. Wood mentions men’s biology a couple of times being the reason that men need to spread. Some men will need a little extra space for their tackle than others, yes, but how much space could comfort possibly require? Are your testicles so big that you need an extra foot to accommodate them? Perhaps it’s time to change your style of underwear instead of hogging transit seating.

The image used for this post is from a hilarious site about man-spreading. YOUR BALLS ARE NOT THAT BIG seeks to out man-spreaders on the New York subway by posting pictures of the culprits (world-wide submissions are welcome). The blogger makes it clear that man-spreading is about men concerned only with display and their own comfort, not the comfort of others.

Display includes body language, the expression of our self-confidence. Individual self-confidence and self-esteem speaks through the way we move and position ourselves in space, including the way we sit. A man who sits with crossed legs looks comfortable, a man sitting with knees 6″ apart also looks comfortable, but when men sit with knees wide apart, i.e. over 12″, he’s telling the world that a) he’s desperate for attention, b) he’s painfully insecure, and c) he wants to appear virile and by spreading his knees apart so far apart, he can show off those “big balls” of his. Testosterone likes to put on a good show, as Dabbs says.

Funny thing about virility: it’s often not what it seems. Like male animals, much of the virility is false but the display can be stunning.  I had a boyfriend with a huge set of testicles that hung heavily under his pinkie-sized penis which only ejaculated prematurely, so I wouldn’t say that large testicles necessarily indicate virility. The whole puffed-up, I-have-bigger-balls-than-you-and-that-makes-me-more-masculine mentality of man-spreaders is a delusion, mere posturing.

In the animal world as Dabbs mentions, panache works to look dominant and impress the opposite sex. I cannot imagine any woman being attracted to a man who tries so hard to show he’s masculine by exposing what he thinks are mammoth testicles to prove his manhood, while simultaneously imposing himself into other people’s space.

I’m not even sure that men are aware of how much space they take up because they haven’t been challenged on it until recently. Once men are called on it however, many will acknowledge their puffed-up, space-taking wrongdoing and change their position (at least this is what happens in polite Toronto). Several times I’ve been on public transit and saw the only seat available beside a wide-kneed man,  but instead of being intimidated, I said, excuse me, and lowered my bottom into the seat (while he scowled because I’ve messed up his space). If a man’s leg is in my space, I ask him to please give me some more leg room and I’ve never had an argument. Politeness and a kind smile can do wonders for personal comfort, so I recommend it.

Now that the New York subway system’s anti-spreading campaign is on and the messages are travelling to other large cities, it’s time for men (and women who take up more space than they need to) to pay attention and be more aware of the necessity to share space in our ever-increasingly populated cities. As subway posters in Philadelphia say, “Dude It’s Rude… Two Seats — Really?”

PS – Have a look at this site that features Japanese subway posters from the 1970s and 80s that even back then, tried to make people aware of how man-spreading negatively affects people.

 

Human behaviour, Desmond Morris, and his comb-over

25 Dec
Desmond Morris

Desmond Morris sports a deep comb-over.

Desmond Morris, the famous British zoologist who wrote The Naked Ape, put together a six-part BBC series called The Human Animal: A Personal View of the Human Species during the mid 1990s, in an attempt to examine and explain human behaviour.

During the series, he explores humans as “hunting apes”, looks at our body language, genetics, and tackles the differences of the sexes. During part 6, Beyond Survival, Dr. Morris, the brilliant zoologist that has moved the study of body language further ahead than anyone else in history, says, “Every time we go out in public, we’re making complex statements about ourselves”. Dr. Morris is absolutely right, but his statement reeks of irony because he talks about complex visual statements while wearing a wicked comb-over.

Method

Comb-overs, a ridiculous “style” that balding men create to cover their baldness was extremely popular during the 1970s, as I recall from childhood. The comb-over was so big that it was actually patented in 1977. The patent is officially 37 years old as of December 23, 2014, and was the brain-child of smooth-headed father and son team, Donald and Frank Smith. Below is the U.S. patent. Click on it to read the details about the Smith’s “invention”.

Comb-Over patent

comb-over illustrationThe patent info explains the correct way of covering your bald spot by “cross-hatching” (FIG. 6) three sections of longer hair and combing them over one another. Original illustration at right–it’s a dandy, isn’t it?

Instructions: “To begin with the subject’s hair must be allowed to grow long enough to cover the bald area, generally about 3 to 4 inches. Of course, the length of the hair will depend on the size of the bald area, for example, a person who is front to back bald, as in the illustrations of FIGS. 1, 2 and 3, will require more length than a person with a bald spot either in front or in back of the head. In addition, the particular hair style to be performed will dictate the required hair length.”

Can you imagine losing your hair and thinking that the best thing to do is to grow sections of your existing hair quite long, strategically comb it up to cover over your bald head, then paste it to your scalp or on top of existing strands with some sort of adhesive (probably hair spray) in an attempt to fool others into thinking that you still have your full head of hair? Only the wind could betray your clever ruse! It’s genius!

Just kidding.

Comb-over symbolism

“Wearing a comb-over is like sweeping your baldness under the rug; it’s still there,” says Jason Kearns of Toronto’s Kearns & Co. hair design.

Kearns began his professional life in the late 60s in swinging London, when hair, and everything else, was all about fun and free expression. He watched the music stars of the time mature and change–some of their hair left the building before they did, and grace didn’t necessarily follow. He says of an aging rock star like Robert Plant, “If the hair is long and you’ve got all of it, wear it.” Guys like David Crosby or Max Webster-era Kim Mitchell who have lost it all on top but keep the bottom long? “Cut it.”

Clumsy, fragile comb-overs are an attempt to camouflage or hide something; they may even induce suspicion. It was no surprise to hear Mr. Kearns say that men who do comb-overs have no sense of self and are probably clinging to their youth. I imagine it could be quite upsetting, even devastating for a man to lose his hair; it may be seen as the loss of youth and possibly a loss of strength, and therefore a blow to masculine identity (could all men have a Sampson complex?). But this belief is a choice.

Bald and bald alternatives

Perhaps it was the unforgettable Yul Brynner who made bald okay for the first time in the 20th century. Biography UK describes how Brynner’s bald head became his trademark: Yul Brynner

“For his role as the King of Siam [in the 1956 Academy Award-winning The King And I], Brynner shaved his head and following the success of the film, he continued to shave his head throughout his life but wore wigs for certain roles. This was an unusual and striking look for the time and became known as the Yul Brynner Look.”

While Brynner wasn’t bald, he was balding. Below left is a shot of the intense, Russian-born actor with a receding hairline; at right below, with a hair piece in his second bald role as Pharoah in The Ten Commandments. To my eye, he’s much more striking without hair.

Yul Brynner

Yul Brynner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the 50s moved into the 60s and 70s, a fully bald head was still scary to people, but someone came up to the plate and made baldness sexy. Telly Savalas rocked the bald head in the early 1970s in his hit TV show, Kojak. Unlike Brynner, Savalas didn’t shave his head for any particular role–his hair loss was well under way, as seen at left in a screen shot from season two of The Untouchables (1961), when Savalas still had some hair. Compare that to the second shot at rightwhich is one attractive than the other?

Telly Savalis

Telly Savalas in an early episode of The Untouchables.

Telly Savalas

Savalas as bald-headed NYPD Detective, Theo Kojak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So why did bald work for these two when so many other men at the time chose the comb-over? First, they’re both actors, and they’re already confident (I have read in my travels that actors and football players have the highest testosterone counts of all occupations). Second, once they took to the look, they “owned” their baldness and made it work for them. Third, they have good shaped heads that are in proportion to their bodies–this is important.

Shaving one’s head is definitely an alternative if a guy is losing his hair, but shaving your head bald isn’t for everyone. Why? Proportion. I have a small head and I notice that when I put my hair into a tight ponytail, my head looks smaller, and I look out of proportion. Men with small heads who intend to shave their lids should take heed of this; I often see (usually white) men walking around with tiny shaved heads perched above hunched shoulders, their expression embarrassed and apologetic. Just because you’re losing your hair doesn’t mean that you have to shave right down to the wood, fellas; instead leave a 1/8″ or 1/4″ of stubble to break up the visual expanse of skin, and avoid large collars and scarves that can make your head look even smaller.

Probably the most important thing around hair loss is acceptance. I discussed ways to deal with hair loss in my last post, but ultimately gentlemen, it’s all about embracing and making the best of yourself, not making an awkward attempt to hide what is gone and in the past. Jason Kearns says that baldness is a way for modern men to make their lives simple and to deal with hair loss with grace. He offers other alternatives to comb-overs and bald insecurity: “Instead of hiding your bare pate,” he says, “try to work with it and add accessories like interesting eye glasses or a neatly trimmed beard.”Desmond Morris

Desmond Morris said in the Daily Mail  in 2008 that the key to a long life is calmness. If you want a happy and long life, it’s best to relax about things you have no control over, including whether or not your hair will hold out. Don your look with grace, avoid the comb-over, and for goodness’ sake, have a sense of humour about it; it’s not the end of the world.

For a laugh, read this Cracked article: Inside the Mind of a Man With a Comb-Over.

Hair loss

10 Dec
men's hair loss

When faced with hair loss, a man’s confidence may suffer, but it doesn’t have to be this way

When the weather turns cold, my hair falls out; I think a third of it is gone by now. My hair is long and it’s everywhere: under every sleeve of every garment, laced into every towel, caught on every textured surface, and sometimes found  on my plate.

This isn’t just annoying, it causes a certain amount of stress in me because every time I wash and comb out my hair, I pull out what feels like a fistful of strands from my head and from my comb, and it’s something of a shock. Fortunately for me, I know that when the spring comes, the hair will grow back like it always does. That’s for me, a woman, but this isn’t necessarily the case for men.

While women tend to lose their hair from all over their head, men lose their hair in a pattern. According to the American Osteopathic Association, male pattern baldness affects 2 in 3 men. “Despite the fact that male pattern baldness is very common, many men who are faced with hair loss feel embarrassment and have low self-esteem.”

If the AOA is correct and 66% of men experience hair loss, one might think that a brotherhood would form to support other men who lost hair. Instead, I see sad statistics: “60 percent of all bald men are teased at some point in their lives”. Hair loss can be a self-esteem issue to the man in question and a demeaning point of ridicule. eMed Expert lists 16 ways balding can affect people–all negative and some terrible, except for one: bald men are perceived as more intelligent than haired men. However, one positive point out of 16 is not encouraging.

Factors in hair loss

male pattern hair loss

Male pattern baldness

Hair loss usually has a genetic origin, but there are many other factors that contribute to it. Male pattern hair loss happens when hair follicles become smaller and smaller and produce shorter, finer strands, until eventually, no hair grows from the follicles at all. Dr. Philip Ginsberg, a Philadelphia osteopath says that while genetics play a role in male pattern hair loss, the gene can come from either parent (not just the mother, as the myth goes), and that men with hair loss “usually have a high presence of endocrine hormones.” Male pattern hair loss comes in several forms: thinning hair, a receding hairline, hair loss at the crown of the head, and loss in an “M” shape.

“The average person loses 80-100 hair strands a day,” says Jason Kearns of Kearns & Co.hair dressing  in Toronto. He says that besides genetics, there are many factors that affect hair loss: diet, health, hair care routine, and hair tools.

Diet

Kearns’ Colour Director, Aaron O’Bryan, says that everything comes from the inside, and stresses the importance of diet. In his hair blog, he lists some beneficial foods to encourage hair retention:

  • Salmon: Rich in protein and vitamin D which are key in promoting stronger healthier hair;
  • Walnuts: Contain Biotin,vitamin E, and omega-3 fatty acids–all three help to save your locks;
  • Eggs: Are full of protein and have key minerals like zinc, sulphur, and iron. Iron plays a major role in hair retention as it helps cells carry the oxygen to the hair follicles;
  • Spinach: This has iron, beta carotene, folate, and vitamin C which helps keep hair healthy and scalp oils circulating.

Other dietary suggestions:

  • Gelatin strengthens hair and nails and can be found at drug stores or health food shops. Gelatin is made of boiled animal parts like bones and hooves. Gelatin rhymes with skeleton, says People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and if this doesn’t sit well with you, alternatives to animal gelatin are kosher gelatin (which may or may not contain fish as I just learned), agar, and carrageenan (a seaweed);
  • Essential fatty acids support healthy hair and are found in walnuts, flax seeds, fish, and avocado;
  • Biotin encourages hair and scalp health and is found in nuts, brown rice, and oats;
  • Silica is a natural compound that contains biotin and helps maintain and repair connective tissue, collagen, and promotes bone and wound healing. It is recommended for clear skin and healthy hair. Silica is found in leafy greens, cucumbers, whole grains, beets, and root vegetables, and can be taken in capsule form.

Read more about natural diet options here.

The right tools for the jobhair brush

Gentlemen, be honest about your hair type; its condition has nothing to do with virility. Whatever state your hair is in, treat it right. If it’s fragile (i.e. brittle or thin), be gentle with it and use the right tools for it (i.e. shampoos for fine, thin hair, and a suitable brush for your hair type), if it’s oily, use shampoo for oily hair, if it’s dry, use a shampoo for dry hair, etc.

Kearns suggests to speak to your stylist about the type of brush to use for your type of hair, and keep it clean. Cleaning your brush may seem daunting, but Kearns offers a tip: use dishwashing soap on the brush and rub another brush into it; the hair, dried styling product, and dandruff will come right out.

Brushes with too-close bristles will pull at the hair and pull more strands out. Like a wide-toothed comb, a wide bristle brush is best for wet hair because it won’t snag the weakened strands.

Shampoo

O’Bryan recommends sulphate-free shampoos because sulphates can dry out the hair and scalp. One of his favourites is  Bain Stimuliste in the Kerastase range for thinning hair “to make it look more fabulous and full”. For the more naturally minded, he recommends shampoos that contain biotin like Mill Creek Biotin Shampoo that gives thicker, fuller hair.

He says that regular cleansing is important to keep pores and follicles clean and open for hair growth. In the shower, massage the shampoo into the scalp to increase blood circulation and encourage hair growth. Scalp massages aren’t only for the shower–you can do it yourself while you watch TV or listen to music. A rush of blood to the scalp feels great–dig your fingers right in.

Styling recommendations

Blow-drying your hair can really damage the hair and scalp. Stylists recommend to keep blow-drying to a minimum and air-dry hair if possible. If you do blow dry, keep the heat on medium so as not to damage the hair.

Chemical options

O’Bryan  recommends Rogaine for men (there is also a Rogaine for women, so buy the right one), a foam to be used on hair twice a day. However, as Kearns says, it can be “a very expensive addiction” (i.e. over $100 each month), and  if a man stops using Rogaine, whatever hair he gained during the time he used it will fall out once he stops.

Like Rogaine, O’Bryan suggests Finasteride/Proscar for genetically-inherited hair loss. This drug is taken orally and the treatment provides about a thirty percent improvement after six months of use. Like Rogaine, Finasteride only works as long as the drug is taken. If this option for you, gents, learn from O’Bryan’s experience: “I absolutely noticed a major difference with this tablet which was way more affordable than other options, but I was one of those unlucky ones who lost his sex drive–definitely not worth the risk in my book–but only a small percentage of men suffer from this.”

Permanent solutions 

For those of you who can afford it and want to do something permanent about your hair loss, there are options like hair plugs and transplants, but these are expensive (i.e. several thousand dollars) and may not be feasible for everyone.

Wigs and hair pieces are not popular with the stylists (nor image consultants like me). Hair pieces are not frivolous accessories like a bright pair of socks or a cool man bag to go with different outfits; when people see you, they assume your hair is real, so if you have a full head of hair one day and a bare pate the next, this is quite a shock to people. Some may even consider it dishonest.

Jason Kearns isn’t so hung up on proactive hair loss measures. As a man who has lost most of his hair by now, he stands by the idea of aging gracefully and owning the fact that your hair is gone. “The consolation for men who lose their hair,” he says, “is that he’ll never have to go through it again.”

Watch the Sirius XM video of Kearns and O’Bryan on hair loss here.

Terry Crews: What Makes A Man 2014

27 Nov

I was lucky enough to attend the What Makes A Man (#wmam2014) conference in Toronto this week. Thewhat makes a man 2014 two-day conference was stuffed with speakers and presentations discussing the state of masculinity, road maps to manhood, and ending violence against women. There were some excellent discussions and ideas presented by writers such as Rachel Giese and Junior Burchell, a panel on mental health and masculinity, and fantastic closing session with TV actor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Everybody Hates Chris, Who Wants To Be A Millionare?) , former NFL player, and the Old Spice guy, Terry Crews.

Journalist and TV personality, Nam Kiwanuka, discussed manhood with Crews who spoke very freely about his childhood when he witnessed his father’s violence toward his mother, his anger, his terrible behaviour to his wife and family, and his porn addiction. Now Terry Crews is a man redeemed; he has seen the toxic  masculine code turn him and many other men into a stoic, angry, and aggressive men,and he recognizes how destructive this attitude was to his family. Mr. Crews made no move to hide his tears when he described the pain and the shame of mentally and emotionally abusing his daughter, and the relief that never came the day he beat his father out of revenge for the abuse given to his mother.

As I sat in the third row with tears in my eyes, what I saw before me was not a big, powerful football player or an American TV star. I saw a human being. Terry Crews is a real and grounded man who expresses himself naturally and believes that when men show their true feelings, they display strength, not weakness.

I want you to watch a few minutes of Terry Crews speaking to the Huffington Post. Here, he gives his views on anger, the NFL, Ray Rice, and domestic violence; the toxic mindset of hypermasculinity that teaches men that they are of more worth than women, and his strong belief in gender equality. I’d like to thank Terry for his courage and his inspiration, and bringing gender and masculine violence into the light.

Testosterone spikes this season

13 Nov

Ah, the autumn! Crisp air, glorious colours,  the delicious harvest, and look out – the peak of your annual testosterone levels.

More than any other season, the fall seems to have the most birthdays, doesn’t it? A September-born friend of mine jokes about being a “Christmas Party Baby”, but it turns out that there is more to it than a slap, tickle, and one too many cups of holiday cheer.

“Testosterone levels and sperm counts are highest in late fall and early winter… the peak times for human births in the Northern Hemisphere is around August or September – 9 months after the high testosterone levels of the preceeding fall.” (Heroes, Rogues, and Lovers: Testosterone and Behavior).

According to Jed Diamond in The Irritable Male Syndrome,  testosterone levels cycle throughout the year: “Studies conducted in the US, France, Australia found that men secrete their highest levels of sex hormones in October and their lowest levels in April.”

The irritable male syndrome is characterized by a “state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and a loss of male identity.”  Diamond claims that there is a seasonal aspect to the irritable male syndrome that makes men “more irritable when days shorten and there is less light. The decline in testosterone between October and April may contribute to this irritability.”

When I read these two books a few years ago, I was left wondering why it’s taken us so long to start examining men like we do women. As I research further, I have found that male hormonal swings may be more powerful and more prevalent than female hormonal fluctuations, and yet women have been pinned as the changeable, screaming, crying, mood-and sometimes axe-swinging slaves to their monthly hormone changes.

Not only does a man’s testosterone level change throughout the year, it is constantly changing all day and every day – when men go to sleep, testosterone is on the rise hour by hour until its peak upon waking in the morning (if you don’t believe me, gentlemen, think about what you wake up with every day). By the afternoon, the hormone levels off, begins its decline, and by late afternoon, testosterone is at its lowest level – when men are said to be at their highest point of irritability.

Did you know?

  • Testosterone rises in men when they win a competition and falls when they lose (this seems to be the case whether the competition is direct or observed);
  • Testosterone tends to decrease talking and socializing – unless sports or sex are present;
  • Men higher in testosterone tend to be dissatisfied in marriage;
  • Men lower in testosterone tend to have more convincing smiles.

We’re only starting to recognize the complexity of men and the role of testosterone is fascinating, to me at least, in the way it motivates male thinking and behaviour; I think it’s important that people understand this and give a guy the benefit of the doubt because believe it or not, there are some things that men cannot necessarily control.

So fellas, before I end this week’s post, I want to tell you that because your testosterone is rising to peak right now and at any moment you could be at your most virile, I want to remind you to keep yourselves protected to prevent any surprises next fall.

Recommended reading: Effects of Testosterone On The Body