This Internet find does not have the sexy Spanx for Men packaging, but it does show what it is to put a band-aid on a wound.

Gents, would you wear a girdle, even if you knew John Wayne wore one? How about a compression garment, even if you weren’t post-surgery or an athlete? Would you wear a shaping garment for ego’s sake?

I understand that wearing a compression piece can visually reduce inches from a person’s frame and boost confidence. This is great, but at the end of the day, you’re still you, you still live in the body you obviously aren’t happy with because you’re trying to instantly change it, and sooner or later, your secret will be revealed.

Bubble butt technology

There are all sorts of shaping pieces for different areas – stomach, back, chest, even your butt.

In my research for today’s post and found this article from a few years ago, raving about compression garments. It’s a funny piece, describing different companies making different compression garments that can pare inches off the waist, lift the butt, and straighten spines.

This led me to the Andrew Christian clothing website, which offers bubble butt technology – with frontal enhancement – in a jock strap design that pushes your bum cheeks together with side compression – I don’t want to know how it enhances the front. (Gay and gay curious men are bound to find this more interesting than straight men (though you never know)).

Equmen offers garments with “helix-mapping technology”, to “immediately improve health, well-being and visible appearance”, and in a Slim ‘N Lift undershirt with firming panels  “you can look inches smaller and pound [sic] thinner without exercise”. In other words, wear our garments if you’re too lazy to take care of yourself.

The New York Times declares men’s Spanx, shaping garments that form, contour, and compress,  a huge hit in stores and online. A Neiman Marcus spokesperson suggested that one way for men to think of a foundation garment is that it is about “problem solving, and another way of feeling secure and prepared for life.”

I consider Spanx as modern-day armor, which makes sense since we live in a society that pits us against each other and teaches us not to like ourselves – hey, it’s about “problem-solving” after all. To my mind, shaping garments sells us temporary relief from what we don’t like about our selves, keeping us as far away from self-acceptance as possible.

But it’s all about perspective. From my perspective, I say that in an arm wrestle between honesty and ego, honesty should always win.

Lies

Shaping garments are to me, the band-aid solution to a larger problem – fat, a result of low self-esteem, depression, poor education, a sluggish thyroid, or just plain laziness.  Wearing a shaping garment does not change the fact that you’ve got a weight problem. I fear that people who wear compression garments will treat this as an instant slimming insurance policy and a license to overeat.

Fat is a consequence of lifestyle choices.

“If your pipes are clogged, you call a plumber,” says Jason Brown, personal trainer at Snap Fitness in Toronto, “If your challenge is weight or an unhealthy lifestyle, you call trainers and nutritionists.”

“People want the easy way out,” he says, “but unfortunately there is no easy way out. Being in the shape you want takes commitment, consistency, and effort. Getting healthy is a process, not a product.”

As I spoke with Jason, I realized this all comes down to one concept – behaviour modification. This means change, and that can scare people.

Keep it real

Have we reached a point where natural has become taboo? That fantasy has become reality, where compressed bodies and photo-shopped faces are preferred to real people? I hope not.

Compression garments are not your savior, they are not a ticket to a better life, they will not fix the problems you’re not dealing with. Compression garments are addictive like drugs. Once you’re on them, you can’t stop, like the fateful day you decided to put a wig on your balding head.

Instead of wearing dishonest foundation garments, try these simple dressing and lifestyle tips:

• Wear your waistband on your waist, not under your belly – this draws attention to the vastness of your abdomen;
• Visually break up your front by wearing a sports jacket or a waistcoat over your  shirt, or wear vertical (NEVER horizontal) stripes to add an illusion of trimness while adding height;
• Wear clothes that fit properly – not too large, not to small, but just right;
• Become conscious of how much fat you’re consuming and make some easy changes – go easy on the butter, the milk, the cream, and dairy in general – you will notice your pants feeling looser soon enough;
• Stand straight with your shoulders square and visually lift 5 lbs from your abdomen;
• Drink more water;
• Try a cleanse;
• Go for more walks;
• Discover self-respect and how awesome you already are.

Canadian brand, Joe Fresh,made in the collapsed building in Bangladesh. Photo by Global News.

Remember Maya’s speech in “Sideways,” telling Miles what she thinks about each time she opens a bottle of wine? What was going on in the world during the life cycle of the grapes, what was the weather like, and the people who picked the fruit.

This is how I feel about clothing.

Consider what goes into a simple cotton shirt:

• growing, collecting, and processing the cotton fiber
• spinning the fibers into thread
• weaving the threads into fabric
• applying chemical treatments to the fiber or fabric (i.e. mercerization)
• dyeing and/or printing the fabric
• creating a pattern for the garment
• cutting the fabric
• choosing findings – thread, buttons, shaping materials (interfacing), etc.
• physically putting the garment together

It’s amazing how much work goes into one shirt. Even more amazing is how cheap it can be to buy.

The Industrial Revolution brought machines to replace human labour and lower the costs of manufacturing, including  machines to speed the production and lower the cost of textile production in every stage: farming, spinning, weaving, and cutting, but a machine could never replace human hands for building cloth garments. This is why fires and building collapses in garment factories are so sad.

Last November, a fire broke out in a Bangladeshi garment factory, killing 112. Yesterday, a eight-story building collapsed with thousands of workers inside, killing 238 people at last count, and injuring over 2000.

Factory workers noticed a crack in the building on Tuesday and government officials sent them home. The next day when workers returned, the building manager told them not to worry and go inside. If they refused, they would not get paid or may lose their job. Less than an hour later, the building collapsed.

The Times of India reports that upon discovery of the cracks, the factories’ owners were to suspend operations. The Industrial Police asked them to do a structural inspection by engineers before resuming business, but the order was disregarded.

Mostafizur Rahman, Director of the Industrial Police said, “The owners of the Rana Plaza in Savar and the garment factories went into hiding fearing arrest, as the regulatory authorities and police filed separate cases accusing them of illegally constructing the structure and exposing the workers to the fatal accident.”

Retail responsibility

CBC’s “As It Happens” interviewed Kalpona Akter of the Bangladesh Centre for Worker Solidarity a day after the collapse. Akter said the negligence by factory owners, government, and Western retailers is ongoing, and they are aware of the working conditions and state of the buildings but choose to ignore it. Retailers hire third-party auditors to tour buildings and often there is no documentation or follow up.

Scott Nova, Executive Director of the Worker’s Rights Consortium in Washington, D.C., interviewed this morning with CBC’s Metro Morning, and spoke about irresponsible retailers and cheap labour.

Bangladeshi garment workers earn 18 cents an hour for work in substandard facilities, When tragedy strikes, Nova says, “Western retailers choose not to take direct responsibility for what happens to their workers, and prefer to blame the consumer because it lets them off the hook morally. They throw up their hands and say consumers demand cheap clothing and we’re giving consumers what they want.”

Like blaming the Devil for bad behaviour.

“The reality is that there is no consumer that wants to save a few pennies on a t-shirt or dress at the expense of the lives of the men and women who make the clothes,”  Nova says.

Last November’s fire sparked a movement to petition The Gap, one of the retailers fingered in the tragedy, to add 10 cents to their retail price to bring working conditions to standard in Bangladesh. The Gap has instead chosen to create its own “corporate-controlled monitoring system that won’t be accountable to workers, consumers, or independent safety experts,” according to Sum of Us.

Ultimately, change is up to us, we that consume these “fast fashion” garments, to urge retailers to give us a choice in paying extra – up to 15 cents per garment – to pay for the assurance that factory workers would be treated well at work and in safe conditions.

Tweet Joe Fresh @JoeFresh or email Loblaw, it’s parent company to ask for a small price increase to protect Asian workers.

Cost to you

Cheap clothing is cheap partially because it consists of low-grade material. The garment may look okay on a hanger in the store, but once you wash and wear it a few times, it will lose its shape and elastic recovery if it’s a knit, often the dyes run, and ultimately you have a new rag to clean with.

Low-grade fabrics could be made of anything but are commonly cottons and cotton blends (i.e. polyester- cotton). Often, fabric manufacturers add chemical fillers (i.e. formaldehyde). but these finishes wash out, leaving your garments limp and lifeless. I often think of the environmental impact of this “disposable” clothing. (Read this post for information on what your clothes go through before you buy them.)

This is a three-way street between us, the consumers, the retailers, and the factory owners.  Retailers and factory owners and managers are ultimately dictated to by consumers.  If we continue to demand cheap clothing, we must tell retailers that we want to adopt a dime-per-garment policy to help Western clothing giants pay for safe conditions for south Asian workers.

Fashion doesn’t have to make people suffer. No one wants human life as the cost of doing business.

Period Hessian boots.

It’s April, and no matter where you live, spring 2013 will be wet if not flooded in some areas of Canada (hello Saskatchewan). Rubber boots are your practical and stylish answer – but with environmental reservations.

Rubber boots as we know them today didn’t start as rubber boots. The style of boot derives from Hessian boots, a high style from the Regency Period. These 18th century boots were made of leather with a heel and slightly pointed toe, and decorated with a coloured tassel. This is the boot from which rubber and cowboy boots derived. (Click here for further period boot reading.)

Though also worn by Beau Brummel, the most famous of dandies, the Hessian boots were adopted by the military and favoured by officers.

One of these officers,  Arthur Wellesley, the first Duke of Wellington, modified the style and changed footwear forever. Wellesley wanted a boot tough enough for the battlefield but comfortable enough for evening wear. The resulting boot was  made of plain soft calf skin (possibly treated with wax to make them waterproof), cut closer to the leg, housing the trim stirrup trousers of the period.

Leather “Wellington” boots.

These Wellington boots became all the rage – civilians and soldiers alike wore this style to emulate their favourite war hero and statesman. It was the boot of 19th century aristocracy, synonymous with fox hunts and country life in Britain.

Rubber Revolution

According to Scientific American, rubber footwear originated with Amazonian Indians who lived amongst rubber trees in South America,  but it wasn’t until the mid-1800s that rubber boots appeared.

Natural rubber is composed of long polymer chains which, when uncured, move independently, giving an unstable substance that can get sticky when warm and brittle when cold. In the mid-19th century, Charles Goodyear discovered a process called vulcanization that linked the polymer chains, making rubber strong, elastic, and waterproof.

Goodyear used his invention to make tires and Hiram Hutchinson bought the patent to manufacture footwear, and the waterproof Wellington boot was born. (See pictures of rubber boot making in France.)

Wellingtons, wellies, gummies, gum boots, or  rain boots have been worn all over the world to keep feet dry and protected for mining, farming, fishing, food processing, chemical plants, and for those who live in wet climates.

The Chet by Hunter.

Remember the black rubber boots with red soles from your childhood?  They’re  still readily available at Canadian Tire, but for those who itch for a more stylish rubber boot, Hunter, the Scottish rubber boot company, makes all kinds of styles, long and short – featured here is their Chelsea-style rubber boot. For casual dress, Sweden’s Tretorn offers cool sporty, waterproof “rain sneakers”, along with other styles and lots of colour options. Further reading.

But there’ s a catch to these stylish waterproof numbers.

Environmental Considerations

Rubber decomposes, as anyone who grew up in the pre-Spandex era can tell you. I have a pair of lined, rubber Tretorn rain boots that cracked within two years. I don’t know if the lining had anything to do with it, but I can’t wear them anymore. Tretorn doesn’t have a recycling program. So what do I do with them?

Canadian-made Kamik rain boots.

Hunter sells care products with their boots to shine them up, but this doesn’t seem to affect the “long-term” ownership of these boots. I’ve looked at forums and blogs that complain about their wellies “crumbling” and “splitting” since the Scottish company moved their manufacture to China (read this blog for an excellent take on Hunter’s move to cheap labour).

A wonderful alternative to throw-away boots is Kamik‘s vegan footwear. The styles are similar to Hunters, but the boots are eco-friendly, and the Kamik waterproof footwear is vulcanized, unlike the China-made Hunters.  Kamik’s boots are recyclable and made in Canada. Kamik’s products can be found in Canadian Tire and various other locations throughout Canada and the U.S. Find dealers. Read more about Kamik.

Rubber boots are awesome in wet weather, so feel confident to roam the streets in the rain and splash through puddles, but do be mindful of the environmental impact of your choice in wellies.

I spoke to a couple of stress experts through the Distress Centres Ontario (DCO),  a provincial organization that provides support services to lonely, depressed, and suicidal people, often via a 24-hour crisis line.

DCO presented “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly of Stress”, focusing on how to shift from a stress reaction to a support response in our body.

Asha Croggan and Arianne Richeson co-presented the learning event – Asha provides support to crisis lines and suicide networks across Canada and is the Provincial Programs Manager for Suicide and Mental Health Networks, and Arianne Richeson is the Manager of Educational Service at Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region. Below are some of their findings from the presentation:

1) Men and women respond to stress differently – the difference between “fight or flight” and “care or share”.

2) Our autonomic nervous system is responding in every second to every feeling we experience. This means that even when we feel we are “handling it well”, our bodies may still be experiencing a stress response.

3) Science has shown that we actually transmit these feelings through the electromagnetic field of the heart.  The brain has an electromagnetic field of 1″ from the body … the heart’s electromagnetic field is 4 feet from the body.

4) Cortisol, a hormone released in response to stress, continues to cycle up to 12 hours after a stress reaction in the body. This results in poorer/disrupted sleep which in turn lowers our ability to respond effectively to stress. (For further reading on cortisol and easy ways to reduce it, click here.)

5) Emotions that have a depleting effect on our bodies – worry, frustration, and anger -  create cortical inhibition (cortical = cerebral cortex – the brain’s outer layer central to memory, attention, perceptual awareness, language, thought, and consciousness) which in turn diminishes the brain’s capacity to problem-solve, recall coping strategies, and effectively communicate. Renewing feelings such as gratitude, joy, and enthusiasm that have a supportive effect on the body and helps to open the mind. (It also draws good things to you.)

Men and women not only experience stress differently, they are subject to gender-specific stresses. In Is stress harder on men? , Ottawa psychotherapist Wesley Moore says that especially at work, “men often feel they have to outperform everyone else. This can be a huge source of pressure, especially if there is also an internal dialogue that he must be the ‘breadwinner’ for his family.”

Women often have support networks for times of stress, but men are less likely to ask for help or talk about their situations, which makes them vulnerable to stress-related problems; not feeling that he has an outlet to release his stress will keep it trapped in the mind and the body.

To dodge the stress in their lives, men are more likely to engage in some kind of distraction – i.e.  a friend of mine told me he got over the grief of a break up by “going to sleep” when he felt overwhelmed by sadness; amusement of new toys or hobbies,  or the darker road of chemical distraction – alcohol, drugs, and tobacco.

Distracted or not, men experiencing stressful situations like interpersonal problems, financial difficulties, and violence “were linked to psychological problems, such as anxiety, mental distress, and lack of coherence,” according to a 2002 Finnish study.

Quite often, stress is in the eye of the beholder – it is something perceived in the brain, not necessarily real in 3D reality. A stressed brain can be overwhelming, but there are lots of easy ways to cope with it and calm it down. Asha and Arianne compiled some simple ways to deal with stress, beginning with becoming conscious of it:

1)      Be aware of your stress alarms and triggers.  Your body uses symptoms to express when it is in a stress response.  Once you understand this “language” you can become more aware of how often you are under stress, and recognize the alarms when they go off. Common stress alarms are headaches, digestion issues, irritation, withdrawal, over/under eating.  Reflect on the stress alarms you experience physically, emotionally, and behaviourally. This will help you to better determine the triggers in your life, so you can prepare for them.

2)      Take your “emotional pulse” throughout the day.  The body is responding in every moment to how you “feel”. Your emotions set off a cascade of over 1,500 biochemical reactions and responses in the body. (!) Pause throughout the day to take your emotional pulse and see whether you feel a depleting or renewing emotion.

3)      Shift through breathing.  A critical tool you have in your “stress toolkit” is your breath.  Calm yourself by simply becoming aware of your breath.  Slow the breath down so it is deeper than normal.

4)      Choose healthy debriefing. It is important and healthy to recognize when an event has affected you, and to reach out to share how you are feeling.

5)      Use the P.A.U.S.E. Approach:  When you recognize you are experiencing stress:

• Pause.  Catch your breath.  Take a moment so you can choose to respond rather than react.
• Ask yourself. Is this true?  Is this important?  Is this something I truly need to deal with now?
• Use your tools.  Utilize your coping and communication skills, breathing exercises, and if need be, take some space so you can calm yourself and assess next steps.
• Self-care.  A stressed mind is a closed mind.  Practice self-care so you can slow the stress reaction in your body.  A coherent, calm body supports stronger memory, creative problem-solving and communication – all important skills in responding to stress.
• Express yourself.   Express how you feel, set your boundaries, debrief with someone you trust, or reach out for professional support.

We all feel stress weighing heavily upon us for all sorts of reasons, but please don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you’re in need. There is support all over the world, and volunteers eager to listen without judgement.

Some distress organizations in Canada and worldwide:

Distress Centre British Columbia

Inform Alberta

Reason to Live Manitoba

Distress Centres Ontario

Chimo Helpline, New Brunswick

Northwest Territories Help Line

Samaritans UK

Befrienders Worldwide

Scarves are traditionally worn in the winter to keep our necks warm, but consider a lightweight scarf in the spring for a little added warmth and a lot of style in the early days of the season.

Gentlemen, no matter how much you spend, know that you’re going to make an impact in a spring scarf.

I find that menswear in general can be harsh in colour, casting a dark light on a man’s face, and giving him a hardened look. Spring colours are much more flattering, softening a man’s features and making him look more approachable. While scouting locally owned menswear shops in Toronto for this post, I’m happy to see that this season’s colour choices in scarves are soft and powdery.

Pal Zileri linen scarf

I looked at a gorgeous, tone-on-tone striped sea green linen scarf at high-end men’s store, Via Cavour at 87 Avenue Road. Their amazingly soft, handmade, Pal Zileri 100% linen scarves come in unusual colours, and are priced from $350 to $750.

When the temperatures get warmer, linen scarves are the go-to accessory because linen is one of the lightest and coolest clothing materials – air constantly moves through linen’s weave, keeping the wearer physically and visually cool. (Read more about linen.)

Marc de Rose at Via Cavour says, “Scarves are one of the best pieces to update an outfit.”

He describes his scarves as “funky” that dress up a traditional suit. He likes to loop his scarves loosely around his neck with the ends draping over his chest, giving him a youthful, comfortable look. Draping the scarf over a suit this way “frames” the collar (and tie) beneath.

• Style tip: Scarves are meant to look “thrown on” but they are nothing but – you’ll want to spend some time arranging the fabric

I visited philip in Hazelton Lanes, a spin-off of Nanni Couture, to look at gentleman’s cotton and silk blend scarves.

Philip in a suit

Philip becomes instantly cool in a spring scarf!

Owner, Philip Zappacosta, says, “A scarf is a great investment for men to coordinate with his wardrobe, and tie everything  together.”

He showed me a large, versatile, slightly crisp, colourful, square-shaped Corneliani scarf (below), made in Italy ($295), and explained how many other colours and pieces could be worn with it.

Scarves at the philip store go well with soft-shouldered sports jackets and other more casual pieces like loose-knit spring sweaters. They can be worn wrapped around the neck to create volume around the face, and longer types can be worn European style, folded in half lengthwise and draped around the neck with the ends pulled through the loop at the front.

Here, we wrapped the fabric around Philip’s neck. Notice how the added bulk seems to bring in his shoulders and torso – a trick of optical illusion, good for larger men who want to appear smaller.

• Style tip – Look for balance in your clothing and avoid mixing warm winter weights with lighter spring weights

Queen Street West favourite, Grreat Stuff, offers reasonable price points for men on smaller budgets who like to add some pizzazz to their wardrobe. Grreat Stuff is a grreat store for menswear oddities and interesting wardrobe pieces.

They carry long, double-sided silk English scarves in traditional patterns with a natural silk fringe for $95, striped 100% gauzy cotton GEOX scarves for $60, and cotton Matinique gingham scarves in a dense weave with a dry hand for $45.

Co-owners, Frances and Adam Yalonetsky, recommend wearing cotton or silk scarves loosely with a cotton blazer or lightweight outerwear.

Adam suggests that in the cool of the early spring, fold your scarf in half lengthwise, wrap European style, then tighten the loop to bring the scarf closer in at the neck. This will give more bulk to the scarf and keep the warm air close to the throat.

Adding a scarf will get you noticed and for style-savvy men, there is scarcely a better accessory.

Having the idea to wear a stylish scarf that ties your clothes together makes you awesome. Actually doing it for real triples your awesomeness.

Grant Harris, owner of Image Granted in Washington, D.C.

For the second Black History Month post, I am in conversation with Grant Harris, owner & Chief Style Consultant at Image Granted, a Washington, D.C.-based image consulting company dedicated to solving the complex image, style, and fashion issues of today’s professional man. Grant has featured in The Wall Street Journal, TIME Magazine, Men’s Health, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post, CNN, and others.

LM: My first post for Black History Month 2013 put the focus on Hip-Hop as a form of blackface, perpetuating the negative black stereotype and the violent, sag-ass Hip-Hop culture. The costume, huge t-shirts, baseball hats, and low-slung baggy pants are based on farce, and an unstable and unsafe way to dress. Essentially, I see this costume as a rock tied around the neck, a uniform keeping young men stagnant and blind to any other reality. Can you comment on this, Grant?

GH: Many black men think of a suit and tie when they hear the word “uniform”, but there are many uniforms that African-American men can wear to present themselves as a competent part of society and to positively influence those around them – military-influenced uniforms, uniforms of higher education, medicine, aviation and others all have positive connotations for black men, but there is a deficit of modern black male role models for today’s youth to look up to.

Black History Month focuses on yesteryear and the men who helped shaped the present, but it rarely if ever focuses on men in the present helping to shape the future. Young black males with no direction or guidance end up with few choices, and turn to the streets, athletics, or music. Popular media rarely focuses on the positive black male, but instead shines the light on rappers, athletes, and entertainment moguls as if these lives are normal and customary.

There are other uniforms which degrade and decline the image of the black male in society.  The uniform of XXL t-shirts, sagging pants, sneakers, snap back hats and gold chains only displaces the positivity afforded to those before us.  Most of the African-American men wearing these “uniforms” have no idea of the culture from whence they came.

Sagging pants comes from prison where inmates aren’t allowed to wear belts due to the potential of violence, and therefore are left with sagging pants.  Wearing baggy clothes makes it easier to conceal weapons.  The uniform of gang members, prison inmates, ex-convicts and the like are detrimental not only to unsupported inner city youth, but to the overall growth of young African-American males in the U.S. impacting their ability to make a difference on an international level.

LM: I used to volunteer with an agency that pulled wardrobes together for people entering the workforce, and every month, I dressed at-risk youth from Eva’s Phoenix, a wonderful organization that helps street kids get their lives together, in clothes appropriate for job interviews.

One day, I worked with a young African-Canadian man who arrived in baggy clothes and no idea what he should wear. We found a good-fitting suit for him, some shirts, shoes, and I taught him to tie a tie. He had never seen himself look like this before, and he was stunned.

“I look exactly like Jay-Z,” he said, eyes wide.

I really felt blessed to give this young man a different perspective of himself which hopefully opened his imagination to where he could be, and make him realize that he didn’t have to exist in the life he currently lived.

Grant, are there any organizations in the U.S. that help youth turn their lives around with clothing and presentation?

GH: There are organizations around the world helping to improve the lives of men and women through their appearance and presentation.  The goal of these organizations is not to supply the masses with fast fashion, but instead to equip them with the necessary basics that will build a foundation for the future.  In Washington, D.C., there are several non-profit organizations that provide presentation services:

MenzFit An educational non–profit organization ensuring long–term gainful employment and financial fitness to low–income men with little formal education. Clients receive professional interview clothing, career development and financial literacy services.

Martha’s Table  Martha’s Table deals with the immediate effects of poverty and finds long-term solutions with education, nutrition and family support services. At the core of Martha’s Table family support services is a clothing operation where everyone can shop together and choose how they will present and express themselves to the world.

Strive DC STRIVE DC was established in August 1999 to combat unemployment in Washington, DC, and fill the void of effective programs seeking to accomplish this.  Although independently funded and governed, STRIVE DC is one of a network of centers modeled after the acclaimed East Harlem, New York STRIVE employment program, established in 1984.

LM: What is your best style advice for young, at-risk African-American men?

GH: All African-American men are at risk.  Not only because of hostile surroundings or because they come from broken homes.  Black males are at risk of becoming no more than the status quo, or even worse, becoming an average statistic.

At-risk doesn’t always mean gang violence, and drugs.  It also means that black men are at risk at losing their place in society.  Black men are no longer the minority in the US, and we do not earn as many privileges as we have in the past.  We are at risk of becoming obsolete not just from black-on-black crime, but by the threat of upper class America becoming the only class.

The best way to keep pace with progress is to dress, not for the life you have, but for the life you want.

Further reading: Please pull up your pants.

Click me.

Negative stereotypes of Blacks are a staple of Black music videos that glorify gangsterism. In Rap music and videos, the minstrel-show plantation has been born again as the “hood.” While the setting has changed from an idyllic plantation to the mean streets of urban America, the process is the same: a black culture is being marketed for profit, with black performers portraying negative stereotypes. Performers claim that they represent authentic black America, while critics decry the glorification of ugly caricatures and its effects on Black youth.

-Black-face.com

I’ve had some things on my mind lately, Black History Month (BHM), and a lecture I attended a few weeks ago, by masculinities author and sociologist, Michael Kimmel. By fortunate chance, I recently came across  The Black Man Can, an initiative to actively promote a positive black male image by Brandon Frame, who has helped immensely with this year’s BHM articles.

I read a couple of posts on Brandon’s site that really grabbed my interest: Is Commercial Hip-Hop the New Blackface? by Sharif Rasheed, who suggests Hip-Hop culture as a caricature of African-American youth, and the fabrication and absorption of the Hip-Hop stereotype in black youth culture in When Posing Goes Wrong: Ricky Rozay is not about that life. 

Now, as a white, Canadian woman of European descent with a love for Sam Cooke, but no understanding of Soulja Boy let alone Jay-Z, I was gobsmacked at what I read in Rasheed’s article: “Commercial Hip-Hop has become the blueprint for the streets for many of today’s youth. The lyrics tell them what to wear, how to talk, what to like and dislike. These ignorant lyricists are the slave masters that abuse young minds by whipping the oppression into them and hanging the glorification right on them.”

Glen Palmer, of The Gentlemen’s Standard, a site for distinctive men of colour, does not believe that the younger generation understands blackface, let alone black American history.

“The blackface concept still remains,” he says,“artists play to the lowest, stereotypical denominator and project an imagery that mainstream, white America believes people of color to be. The stereotypes have changed a little, as “bling” has been introduced into the equation, but the foundation is still there. Ignorant. Hyper-sexualized. Violent.”

It is alarming that young black men allow themselves to be molded into an antiquated stereotype via Hip-Hop, as is their frenzy to prove their manhood – the brand of masculinity devised by white, Judeo-Christian men.

Masculinity

In Michael Kimmel’s lecture, he explains the traditional pillars of manhood that originated in the mid-20^th century that has left millions of men unable to feel, positively express themselves, and be genuine.

1. “No sissy stuff.” In western patriarchal culture, anything associated with the feminine is a sign of weakness (an apparent cardinal sin). In Hip-Hop, rap artists often call each other out and accuse each other of weakness in their rhymes, using offensive language like “bitch nigga”,  keeping rivalries and feuds alive, and feeding the aggression that hip hop demands.
2. “Be a big wheel.” Wealth, power, and status equals money, ice (bling), and sex in Hip-Hop culture – the spoils of white patriarchy.
3. “Be a sturdy oak. Be reliable in a crisis/become an unfeeling inanimate object”. Glen suggested I watch Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes, an excellent documentary by Byron Hurt. Hurt discusses the projected hardness in Hip-Hop that is ego-driven and encourages men to assert themselves. This  hardness “denies men their own frailty”, and exposes their masculine insecurities, camouflaged by violence, dominance, misogyny, and homophobia.
4. “Give ‘em hell.”  Be daring, be aggressive, be violent. The projected Hip-Hop image encourages men to threaten and kill each other, abuse women, and endanger and intimidate those around them.

The way Hip-Hop has nestled into these dated (and very unnatural) masculine expectations is startling, but as Brandon says, young black men “lack positive self-identity or  positive identity development, and look for it in other forms like commercial Hip-Hop music. The images created by these artists is merely for entertainment but Black Boys do not see it that way. They see these images as reality…a reality they want to live and embody.”

Little white lies

The scariest concept around all of this stuff is that the Hip-Hop image is false.

The caricature of the rough, tough, dangerous gangsta rapper is projected by profit-generating record labels, run by white men in suits who decide who gets signed, and who they can peddle the blackface image to (largely young white men – 70% of Hip-Hop is consumed by this group).

In When Posing Goes Wrong: Ricky Rozay is not about that life, the author outs rap artist, Rick Ross, about the lies he’s been living. Black youth hears music about drug dealing, though many of them “have never even sold candy”, toting guns and murdering, though “a good number of us have never even fired a gun and for sure never killed anyone.

“Our youth listen to these lyrics from these beloved entertainers and take it as gospel. Many take the glorified side of street life as reality and they do not see the dangerous reality until it is too late.”

A new code of masculinity

In researching and writing for this post,  I’ve processed a lot of information and believe I have witnessed the ultimate in insult – the diminishing of human potential. We desperately need a new, healthy, positive definition of masculinity for young men and boys that promotes among other things, self-respect and respect for others.

What is and was needed is a vision of masculinity where self-esteem and self-love of one’s unique being forms the basis of identity. Cultures of domination attack self-esteem, replacing it with a notion that we derive our sense of being from dominion over another. Patriarchal masculinity teaches men that their sense of self and identity, their reason for being, resides in their capacity to dominate others.

- bell hooks, African-American feminist

1. Keep your shoes and boots clean and polished. It’s a cliche by now, but I say the same still rings true – in the old days, a man’s character was associated with how well he kept his shoes, and there is no reason to think differently now.  Freshly-polished footwear is the sign of a man who takes pride in himself, and people notice.

Shoes are the base of our daily wardrobe, and if they’re dirty, scuffed, and/or in need of repair, your footwear will negate any effort you’ve taken to dress well. On the other hand, wearing magnificently cared-for footwear can actually excuse an otherwise sloppy wardrobe – shoes are powerful!

2. Keep your hands clean. We meet a lot of people and we shake a lot of hands, and keeping yours clean, like wearing well-kept shoes, sends a positive message about your self esteem and your respect for others. Clean hands also reduce the spread of germs, important  especially in winter – so respect your health and the health of others and wash often!

Unfortunately, washing germs away will dry out your hands, making skin tight and uncomfortable (to the point of cracking, for some of you). The way around this is to apply moisturizer. I hear your complaints already, but  moisturizing your skin is no different than using oil to keep your baseball glove supple. To avoid the discomfort of dry hands, gents, try to apply at least once a day, preferably after your morning shower.

3. Keep scent to a minimum. Keep the smell volume down low, because you may be the only one enjoying the fragrant symphony hanging around you.

Remember that most, if not all of your grooming products, from shampoo to shaving cream, are scented. If you wear aftershave or cologne, this is another fragrance on top of these scents, which  gets to be overpowering quickly.

To make things worse, I just read an article about the fragrance industry using human and animal feces in their products – yuck!

4. Wear well-fitting clothing.  When dressing for business or casual, if you’re not paying attention to the fit of your clothes, you’re doing yourself a disservice. It doesn’t matter how big or small a man is, ill-fitting clothes visually change your body shape.

Wearing too-small clothing makes bodies bulge and pushes us out of proportion. Too-big clothing (left) gives visual obesity while making us look insignificant as we swim in excess fabric. A correct fit (right) accentuates the positive and makes us more confident. Wearing well-fit clothing feels great!

5. Stand straighter. Want to lose a visual 5 pounds and feel more confident? Inhale, straighten your spine, lift your eyes, and square your shoulders.

People often don’t pay attention to the way they stand, but posture speaks loudly; it can diminish us in the eyes of others or boost our presence and mood. People notice confident people, and confident people stand straight.

I encourage you to watch this 20-minute TED talk with social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, who explains body language and how to turn up your testosterone and your confidence by assuming 2-minute “power positions”:

Without spending extra money, you can sharpen your image by following these simple steps, making for a more confident and memorable 2013. Happy New Year!

Note – In the Key of He is taking January off – see you in February!

The last thing a professional wants to do is pass on incorrect information, and it seems I’ve done so. In a 2010 blog post, The new royalty, I explained that in centuries past, it was royalty who set the fashion, now, movie stars and musicians are key influencers.

In that post (now edited), I give the examples of kings’ conditions that cued historical clothing: Henry VIII was said to have gout which moved him to wear non-restricting footwear, thus dictating the shoes of Tudor times, and prematurely bald Louis XIII of France introduced men’s wigs to the world.

I made an assumption that Edward VIII, the Duke of Windsor upon abdication, was the originator of the Windsor knot.  It made a tremendous amount of sense to me that the Duke, a small man, would wear a knot that took up more tie so it could graze the waistband of his high-waisted trouser, but it turns out that it was his father, George V, who (may have) originated the Windsor. But as I dig deeper, I’m finding information that refutes the George V theory. Looking at photos of George, he opted for silk cravats tied into four-in-hand knots – a traditional British necktie knot. So if George and Edward didn’t wear the Windsor knot, where did it come from?

I belong to a professional costume group and we’ve been discussing his topic. One of the costumers says, “Suzy Menkes in her book, The Windsor Style, says the Duke of Windsor had his neckties made by Hawes and Curtis, who always used a very thick lining.” (Hawes and Curtis is an old tailor shop favoured by royalty on London’s Jermyn Street.) The thick tie was too much for the multi-step full Windsor knot, so the Duke tied a four-in-hand knot. Though he didn’t wear it, he’s synonymous with the Windsor knot.

Another costume designer believes the knot may have originated in the U.S. when the Duke visited in the 1930s. In their attempt to emulate the stylish Duke, the Americans, in much thinner ties, took extra steps to create a wider tie knot, and with the help of the U.S. media, this knot was dubbed the Windsor knot.

Interestingly, the Canadian Armed Forces has adopted this knot. My military contact sent me the Armed Forces regulations handbook, in which chapter 2, section 2 explains dress. Two tie knots are allowed in the Canadian military: the four-in-hand and the Windsor knot. The funny thing is, the illustration of the Windsor knot in the handbook looks like a half Windsor knot, not a full Windsor.

The more I find out about this knot, the more confused I am. Perhaps this argument is simply a matter of semantics.

Further reading: The Mystery of the Windsor Tie Knot Revealed

Gentlemen’s Cravats – The Necktie: A Brief History

Error

In our culture, people have a deep fear of being wrong. I used to be one of these people, and then as I delved further into understanding the human condition, I realized that it’s natural and inevitable that we’re going to be wrong sometimes – it’s part of what makes us human. Knowing that humans are more prone to mistakes than to flawless victories, I’m okay with being wrong and I’m willing to tell the world about my mistake.

Many of us have experience with people who love being right all of the time and will rub your face into their (self) righteousness. But what does it amount to?  More stress for one thing – the chips on our shoulders can weigh us down and make us defensive. This black and white way of seeing the world as right and as wrong is, to my mind, limited, because there is so much to know, so many different perspectives, and the issues are often much more complex and require a different angle of logic.

What I’d like to leave you with is this: if we’re right all of the time, we’re not going to experience mistakes; mistakes are things we learn from. Insisting on being right keeps us from learning and growing, and a hard-headed, stuffing-opinions-down-throats style of communication rarely scores points. A dash of humility on the other hand, will.

Welcome to Movember! Our last mustache of the series is an ode to a man who himself died of prostate cancer, known for both his complex and satirical music, and his mustache-soul patch combination, Mr. Frank Zappa.

Zappa, an Italian-American with Greek and Arab heritage, emerged in the late 1960s as an anti-authoritarian musician, critical of American society and opposed to formal education as much as he was to organized religion.

In 1966, Zappa founded The Mothers of Invention and recorded Freak Out!, an album that, according to  Barry Miles in Zappa: A Biography, immediately established Zappa as a “radical new voice in rock music, providing an antidote to the relentless consumer culture of America”.

The infamous tobacco-smoking, coffee-drinking, multi-faceted musician was one of the most influential musicians in rock and roll history.  The 2004 Rolling Stone Album Guide says Zappa “dabbled in virtually all kinds of music—and, whether guised as a satirical rocker,  jazz-rock fusionist, guitar virtuoso, electronics wizard, or orchestral innovator, his eccentric genius was undeniable.”

From belches to bicycles, Zappa loved sound and organizing sound, and during his amazingly busy career, recorded over 60 albums as a solo artist and with the Mothers until his death in 1993.

Frank Zappa’s facial hair is recognizable enough to stand on its own.

In one of his last interviews, he said, “give a guy a big nose and weird hair and he’s capable of anything.”  Frank Zappa’s unique sound and style remain a stronghold in rock music, and his iconic mustache and rectangular soul patch are unmistakably his – Frank Zappa was a freak in his own right.

For more Zappa stuff, visit Zappa.com.

TIP: When you shave your mustache off on Saturday, trim the long whiskers with an electric clipper or scissors before taking the razor to yer lip. For inspiration: watch a guy lose his 45 year old mustache!