Shaped fakery: compression garments

This Internet find does not have the sexy Spanx for Men packaging, but it does show what it is to put a band-aid on a wound.

Gents, would you wear a girdle, even if you knew John Wayne wore one? How about a compression garment, even if you weren’t post-surgery or an athlete? Would you wear a shaping garment for ego’s sake?

I understand that wearing a compression piece can visually reduce inches from a person’s frame and boost confidence. This is great, but at the end of the day, you’re still you, you still live in the body you obviously aren’t happy with because you’re trying to instantly change it, and sooner or later, your secret will be revealed.

Bubble butt technology

There are all sorts of shaping pieces for different areas – stomach, back, chest, even your butt.

In my research for today’s post and found this article from a few years ago, raving about compression garments. It’s a funny piece, describing different companies making different compression garments that can pare inches off the waist, lift the butt, and straighten spines.

This led me to the Andrew Christian clothing website, which offers bubble butt technology – with frontal enhancement – in a jock strap design that pushes your bum cheeks together with side compression – I don’t want to know how it enhances the front. (Gay and gay curious men are bound to find this more interesting than straight men (though you never know)).

Equmen offers garments with “helix-mapping technology”, to “immediately improve health, well-being and visible appearance”, and in a Slim ‘N Lift undershirt with firming panels  “you can look inches smaller and pound [sic] thinner without exercise”. In other words, wear our garments if you’re too lazy to take care of yourself.

The New York Times declares men’s Spanx, shaping garments that form, contour, and compress,  a huge hit in stores and online. A Neiman Marcus spokesperson suggested that one way for men to think of a foundation garment is that it is about “problem solving, and another way of feeling secure and prepared for life.”

I consider Spanx as modern-day armor, which makes sense since we live in a society that pits us against each other and teaches us not to like ourselves – hey, it’s about “problem-solving” after all. To my mind, shaping garments sells us temporary relief from what we don’t like about our selves, keeping us as far away from self-acceptance as possible.

But it’s all about perspective. From my perspective, I say that in an arm wrestle between honesty and ego, honesty should always win.

Lies

Shaping garments are to me, the band-aid solution to a larger problem – fat, a result of low self-esteem, depression, poor education, a sluggish thyroid, or just plain laziness.  Wearing a shaping garment does not change the fact that you’ve got a weight problem. I fear that people who wear compression garments will treat this as an instant slimming insurance policy and a license to overeat.

Fat is a consequence of lifestyle choices.

“If your pipes are clogged, you call a plumber,” says Jason Brown, personal trainer at Snap Fitness in Toronto, “If your challenge is weight or an unhealthy lifestyle, you call trainers and nutritionists.”

“People want the easy way out,” he says, “but unfortunately there is no easy way out. Being in the shape you want takes commitment, consistency, and effort. Getting healthy is a process, not a product.”

As I spoke with Jason, I realized this all comes down to one concept – behaviour modification. This means change, and that can scare people.

Keep it real

Have we reached a point where natural has become taboo? That fantasy has become reality, where compressed bodies and photo-shopped faces are preferred to real people? I hope not.

Compression garments are not your savior, they are not a ticket to a better life, they will not fix the problems you’re not dealing with. Compression garments are addictive like drugs. Once you’re on them, you can’t stop, like the fateful day you decided to put a wig on your balding head.

Instead of wearing dishonest foundation garments, try these simple dressing and lifestyle tips:

• Wear your waistband on your waist, not under your belly – this draws attention to the vastness of your abdomen;
• Visually break up your front by wearing a sports jacket or a waistcoat over your  shirt, or wear vertical (NEVER horizontal) stripes to add an illusion of trimness while adding height;
• Wear clothes that fit properly – not too large, not to small, but just right;
• Become conscious of how much fat you’re consuming and make some easy changes – go easy on the butter, the milk, the cream, and dairy in general – you will notice your pants feeling looser soon enough;
• Stand straight with your shoulders square and visually lift 5 lbs from your abdomen;
• Drink more water;
• Try a cleanse;
• Go for more walks;
• Discover self-respect and how awesome you already are.

April showers bring rubber boots and environmental concerns

Period Hessian boots.

It’s April, and no matter where you live, spring 2013 will be wet if not flooded in some areas of Canada (hello Saskatchewan). Rubber boots are your practical and stylish answer – but with environmental reservations.

Rubber boots as we know them today didn’t start as rubber boots. The style of boot derives from Hessian boots, a high style from the Regency Period. These 18th century boots were made of leather with a heel and slightly pointed toe, and decorated with a coloured tassel. This is the boot from which rubber and cowboy boots derived. (Click here for further period boot reading.)

Though also worn by Beau Brummel, the most famous of dandies, the Hessian boots were adopted by the military and favoured by officers.

One of these officers,  Arthur Wellesley, the first Duke of Wellington, modified the style and changed footwear forever. Wellesley wanted a boot tough enough for the battlefield but comfortable enough for evening wear. The resulting boot was  made of plain soft calf skin (possibly treated with wax to make them waterproof), cut closer to the leg, housing the trim stirrup trousers of the period.

Leather “Wellington” boots.

These Wellington boots became all the rage – civilians and soldiers alike wore this style to emulate their favourite war hero and statesman. It was the boot of 19th century aristocracy, synonymous with fox hunts and country life in Britain.

Rubber Revolution

According to Scientific American, rubber footwear originated with Amazonian Indians who lived amongst rubber trees in South America,  but it wasn’t until the mid-1800s that rubber boots appeared.

Natural rubber is composed of long polymer chains which, when uncured, move independently, giving an unstable substance that can get sticky when warm and brittle when cold. In the mid-19th century, Charles Goodyear discovered a process called vulcanization that linked the polymer chains, making rubber strong, elastic, and waterproof.

Goodyear used his invention to make tires and Hiram Hutchinson bought the patent to manufacture footwear, and the waterproof Wellington boot was born. (See pictures of rubber boot making in France.)

Wellingtons, wellies, gummies, gum boots, or  rain boots have been worn all over the world to keep feet dry and protected for mining, farming, fishing, food processing, chemical plants, and for those who live in wet climates.

The Chet by Hunter.

Remember the black rubber boots with red soles from your childhood?  They’re  still readily available at Canadian Tire, but for those who itch for a more stylish rubber boot, Hunter, the Scottish rubber boot company, makes all kinds of styles, long and short – featured here is their Chelsea-style rubber boot. For casual dress, Sweden’s Tretorn offers cool sporty, waterproof “rain sneakers”, along with other styles and lots of colour options. Further reading.

But there’ s a catch to these stylish waterproof numbers.

Environmental Considerations

Rubber decomposes, as anyone who grew up in the pre-Spandex era can tell you. I have a pair of lined, rubber Tretorn rain boots that cracked within two years. I don’t know if the lining had anything to do with it, but I can’t wear them anymore. Tretorn doesn’t have a recycling program. So what do I do with them?

Canadian-made Kamik rain boots.

Hunter sells care products with their boots to shine them up, but this doesn’t seem to affect the “long-term” ownership of these boots. I’ve looked at forums and blogs that complain about their wellies “crumbling” and “splitting” since the Scottish company moved their manufacture to China (read this blog for an excellent take on Hunter’s move to cheap labour).

A wonderful alternative to throw-away boots is Kamik‘s vegan footwear. The styles are similar to Hunters, but the boots are eco-friendly, and the Kamik waterproof footwear is vulcanized, unlike the China-made Hunters.  Kamik’s boots are recyclable and made in Canada. Kamik’s products can be found in Canadian Tire and various other locations throughout Canada and the U.S. Find dealers. Read more about Kamik.

Rubber boots are awesome in wet weather, so feel confident to roam the streets in the rain and splash through puddles, but do be mindful of the environmental impact of your choice in wellies.

Stress and the man

We all experience stress in our lives, but we don’t talk about it enough – men especially – but there is growing interest in the topic – upon this writing, “men and stress” catches 239,000,000 Google results.

I spoke to a couple of stress experts through the Distress Centres Ontario (DCO),  a provincial organization that provides support services to lonely, depressed, and suicidal people, often via a 24-hour crisis line.

DCO presented “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly of Stress”, focusing on how to shift from a stress reaction to a support response in our body.

Asha Croggan and Arianne Richeson co-presented the learning event – Asha provides support to crisis lines and suicide networks across Canada and is the Provincial Programs Manager for Suicide and Mental Health Networks, and Arianne Richeson is the Manager of Educational Service at Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region. Below are some of their findings from the presentation:

1) Men and women respond to stress differently – the difference between “fight or flight” and “care or share”.

2) Our autonomic nervous system is responding in every second to every feeling we experience. This means that even when we feel we are “handling it well”, our bodies may still be experiencing a stress response.

3) Science has shown that we actually transmit these feelings through the electromagnetic field of the heart.  The brain has an electromagnetic field of 1″ from the body … the heart’s electromagnetic field is 4 feet from the body.

4) Cortisol, a hormone released in response to stress, continues to cycle up to 12 hours after a stress reaction in the body. This results in poorer/disrupted sleep which in turn lowers our ability to respond effectively to stress. (For further reading on cortisol and easy ways to reduce it, click here.)

5) Emotions that have a depleting effect on our bodies – worry, frustration, and anger -  create cortical inhibition (cortical = cerebral cortex – the brain’s outer layer central to memory, attention, perceptual awareness, language, thought, and consciousness) which in turn diminishes the brain’s capacity to problem-solve, recall coping strategies, and effectively communicate. Renewing feelings such as gratitude, joy, and enthusiasm that have a supportive effect on the body and helps to open the mind. (It also draws good things to you.)

Men and women not only experience stress differently, they are subject to gender-specific stresses. In Is stress harder on men? , Ottawa psychotherapist Wesley Moore says that especially at work, “men often feel they have to outperform everyone else. This can be a huge source of pressure, especially if there is also an internal dialogue that he must be the ‘breadwinner’ for his family.”

Women often have support networks for times of stress, but men are less likely to ask for help or talk about their situations, which makes them vulnerable to stress-related problems; not feeling that he has an outlet to release his stress will keep it trapped in the mind and the body.

To dodge the stress in their lives, men are more likely to engage in some kind of distraction – i.e.  a friend of mine told me he got over the grief of a break up by “going to sleep” when he felt overwhelmed by sadness; amusement of new toys or hobbies,  or the darker road of chemical distraction – alcohol, drugs, and tobacco.

Distracted or not, men experiencing stressful situations like interpersonal problems, financial difficulties, and violence “were linked to psychological problems, such as anxiety, mental distress, and lack of coherence,” according to a 2002 Finnish study.

Quite often, stress is in the eye of the beholder – it is something perceived in the brain, not necessarily real in 3D reality. A stressed brain can be overwhelming, but there are lots of easy ways to cope with it and calm it down. Asha and Arianne compiled some simple ways to deal with stress, beginning with becoming conscious of it:

1)      Be aware of your stress alarms and triggers.  Your body uses symptoms to express when it is in a stress response.  Once you understand this “language” you can become more aware of how often you are under stress, and recognize the alarms when they go off. Common stress alarms are headaches, digestion issues, irritation, withdrawal, over/under eating.  Reflect on the stress alarms you experience physically, emotionally, and behaviourally. This will help you to better determine the triggers in your life, so you can prepare for them.

2)      Take your “emotional pulse” throughout the day.  The body is responding in every moment to how you “feel”. Your emotions set off a cascade of over 1,500 biochemical reactions and responses in the body. (!) Pause throughout the day to take your emotional pulse and see whether you feel a depleting or renewing emotion.

3)      Shift through breathing.  A critical tool you have in your “stress toolkit” is your breath.  Calm yourself by simply becoming aware of your breath.  Slow the breath down so it is deeper than normal.

4)      Choose healthy debriefing. It is important and healthy to recognize when an event has affected you, and to reach out to share how you are feeling.

5)      Use the P.A.U.S.E. Approach:  When you recognize you are experiencing stress:

• Pause.  Catch your breath.  Take a moment so you can choose to respond rather than react.
• Ask yourself. Is this true?  Is this important?  Is this something I truly need to deal with now?
• Use your tools.  Utilize your coping and communication skills, breathing exercises, and if need be, take some space so you can calm yourself and assess next steps.
• Self-care.  A stressed mind is a closed mind.  Practice self-care so you can slow the stress reaction in your body.  A coherent, calm body supports stronger memory, creative problem-solving and communication – all important skills in responding to stress.
• Express yourself.   Express how you feel, set your boundaries, debrief with someone you trust, or reach out for professional support.

We all feel stress weighing heavily upon us for all sorts of reasons, but please don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you’re in need. There is support all over the world, and volunteers eager to listen without judgement.

Some distress organizations in Canada and worldwide:

Distress Centre British Columbia

Inform Alberta

Reason to Live Manitoba

Distress Centres Ontario

Chimo Helpline, New Brunswick

Northwest Territories Help Line

Samaritans UK

Befrienders Worldwide

Black History Month: Dressing for the life you want

Grant Harris, owner of Image Granted in Washington, D.C.

For the second Black History Month post, I am in conversation with Grant Harris, owner & Chief Style Consultant at Image Granted, a Washington, D.C.-based image consulting company dedicated to solving the complex image, style, and fashion issues of today’s professional man. Grant has featured in The Wall Street Journal, TIME Magazine, Men’s Health, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post, CNN, and others.

LM: My first post for Black History Month 2013 put the focus on Hip-Hop as a form of blackface, perpetuating the negative black stereotype and the violent, sag-ass Hip-Hop culture. The costume, huge t-shirts, baseball hats, and low-slung baggy pants are based on farce, and an unstable and unsafe way to dress. Essentially, I see this costume as a rock tied around the neck, a uniform keeping young men stagnant and blind to any other reality. Can you comment on this, Grant?

GH: Many black men think of a suit and tie when they hear the word “uniform”, but there are many uniforms that African-American men can wear to present themselves as a competent part of society and to positively influence those around them – military-influenced uniforms, uniforms of higher education, medicine, aviation and others all have positive connotations for black men, but there is a deficit of modern black male role models for today’s youth to look up to.

Black History Month focuses on yesteryear and the men who helped shaped the present, but it rarely if ever focuses on men in the present helping to shape the future. Young black males with no direction or guidance end up with few choices, and turn to the streets, athletics, or music. Popular media rarely focuses on the positive black male, but instead shines the light on rappers, athletes, and entertainment moguls as if these lives are normal and customary.

There are other uniforms which degrade and decline the image of the black male in society.  The uniform of XXL t-shirts, sagging pants, sneakers, snap back hats and gold chains only displaces the positivity afforded to those before us.  Most of the African-American men wearing these “uniforms” have no idea of the culture from whence they came.

Sagging pants comes from prison where inmates aren’t allowed to wear belts due to the potential of violence, and therefore are left with sagging pants.  Wearing baggy clothes makes it easier to conceal weapons.  The uniform of gang members, prison inmates, ex-convicts and the like are detrimental not only to unsupported inner city youth, but to the overall growth of young African-American males in the U.S. impacting their ability to make a difference on an international level.

LM: I used to volunteer with an agency that pulled wardrobes together for people entering the workforce, and every month, I dressed at-risk youth from Eva’s Phoenix, a wonderful organization that helps street kids get their lives together, in clothes appropriate for job interviews.

One day, I worked with a young African-Canadian man who arrived in baggy clothes and no idea what he should wear. We found a good-fitting suit for him, some shirts, shoes, and I taught him to tie a tie. He had never seen himself look like this before, and he was stunned.

“I look exactly like Jay-Z,” he said, eyes wide.

I really felt blessed to give this young man a different perspective of himself which hopefully opened his imagination to where he could be, and make him realize that he didn’t have to exist in the life he currently lived.

Grant, are there any organizations in the U.S. that help youth turn their lives around with clothing and presentation?

GH: There are organizations around the world helping to improve the lives of men and women through their appearance and presentation.  The goal of these organizations is not to supply the masses with fast fashion, but instead to equip them with the necessary basics that will build a foundation for the future.  In Washington, D.C., there are several non-profit organizations that provide presentation services:

MenzFit An educational non–profit organization ensuring long–term gainful employment and financial fitness to low–income men with little formal education. Clients receive professional interview clothing, career development and financial literacy services.

Martha’s Table  Martha’s Table deals with the immediate effects of poverty and finds long-term solutions with education, nutrition and family support services. At the core of Martha’s Table family support services is a clothing operation where everyone can shop together and choose how they will present and express themselves to the world.

Strive DC STRIVE DC was established in August 1999 to combat unemployment in Washington, DC, and fill the void of effective programs seeking to accomplish this.  Although independently funded and governed, STRIVE DC is one of a network of centers modeled after the acclaimed East Harlem, New York STRIVE employment program, established in 1984.

LM: What is your best style advice for young, at-risk African-American men?

GH: All African-American men are at risk.  Not only because of hostile surroundings or because they come from broken homes.  Black males are at risk of becoming no more than the status quo, or even worse, becoming an average statistic.

At-risk doesn’t always mean gang violence, and drugs.  It also means that black men are at risk at losing their place in society.  Black men are no longer the minority in the US, and we do not earn as many privileges as we have in the past.  We are at risk of becoming obsolete not just from black-on-black crime, but by the threat of upper class America becoming the only class.

The best way to keep pace with progress is to dress, not for the life you have, but for the life you want.

Further reading: Please pull up your pants.

Resolve to have a better image in 2013

Gentlemen, if you’re the type to make New Year’s resolutions, make 2013 the year you take five simple steps to improve your image and make a better impression in the world.

1. Keep your shoes and boots clean and polished. It’s a cliche by now, but I say the same still rings true – in the old days, a man’s character was associated with how well he kept his shoes, and there is no reason to think differently now.  Freshly-polished footwear is the sign of a man who takes pride in himself, and people notice.

Shoes are the base of our daily wardrobe, and if they’re dirty, scuffed, and/or in need of repair, your footwear will negate any effort you’ve taken to dress well. On the other hand, wearing magnificently cared-for footwear can actually excuse an otherwise sloppy wardrobe – shoes are powerful!

2. Keep your hands clean. We meet a lot of people and we shake a lot of hands, and keeping yours clean, like wearing well-kept shoes, sends a positive message about your self esteem and your respect for others. Clean hands also reduce the spread of germs, important  especially in winter – so respect your health and the health of others and wash often!

Unfortunately, washing germs away will dry out your hands, making skin tight and uncomfortable (to the point of cracking, for some of you). The way around this is to apply moisturizer. I hear your complaints already, but  moisturizing your skin is no different than using oil to keep your baseball glove supple. To avoid the discomfort of dry hands, gents, try to apply at least once a day, preferably after your morning shower.

3. Keep scent to a minimum. Keep the smell volume down low, because you may be the only one enjoying the fragrant symphony hanging around you.

Remember that most, if not all of your grooming products, from shampoo to shaving cream, are scented. If you wear aftershave or cologne, this is another fragrance on top of these scents, which  gets to be overpowering quickly.

To make things worse, I just read an article about the fragrance industry using human and animal feces in their products – yuck!

4. Wear well-fitting clothing.  When dressing for business or casual, if you’re not paying attention to the fit of your clothes, you’re doing yourself a disservice. It doesn’t matter how big or small a man is, ill-fitting clothes visually change your body shape.

Wearing too-small clothing makes bodies bulge and pushes us out of proportion. Too-big clothing (left) gives visual obesity while making us look insignificant as we swim in excess fabric. A correct fit (right) accentuates the positive and makes us more confident. Wearing well-fit clothing feels great!

5. Stand straighter. Want to lose a visual 5 pounds and feel more confident? Inhale, straighten your spine, lift your eyes, and square your shoulders.

People often don’t pay attention to the way they stand, but posture speaks loudly; it can diminish us in the eyes of others or boost our presence and mood. People notice confident people, and confident people stand straight.

I encourage you to watch this 20-minute TED talk with social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, who explains body language and how to turn up your testosterone and your confidence by assuming 2-minute “power positions”:

Without spending extra money, you can sharpen your image by following these simple steps, making for a more confident and memorable 2013. Happy New Year!

Note – In the Key of He is taking January off – see you in February!

Movember Mustache: The Frank Zappa

Welcome to Movember! Our last mustache of the series is an ode to a man who himself died of prostate cancer, known for both his complex and satirical music, and his mustache-soul patch combination, Mr. Frank Zappa.

Zappa, an Italian-American with Greek and Arab heritage, emerged in the late 1960s as an anti-authoritarian musician, critical of American society and opposed to formal education as much as he was to organized religion.

In 1966, Zappa founded The Mothers of Invention and recorded Freak Out!, an album that, according to  Barry Miles in Zappa: A Biography, immediately established Zappa as a “radical new voice in rock music, providing an antidote to the relentless consumer culture of America”.

The infamous tobacco-smoking, coffee-drinking, multi-faceted musician was one of the most influential musicians in rock and roll history.  The 2004 Rolling Stone Album Guide says Zappa “dabbled in virtually all kinds of music—and, whether guised as a satirical rocker,  jazz-rock fusionist, guitar virtuoso, electronics wizard, or orchestral innovator, his eccentric genius was undeniable.”

From belches to bicycles, Zappa loved sound and organizing sound, and during his amazingly busy career, recorded over 60 albums as a solo artist and with the Mothers until his death in 1993.

Frank Zappa’s facial hair is recognizable enough to stand on its own.

In one of his last interviews, he said, “give a guy a big nose and weird hair and he’s capable of anything.”  Frank Zappa’s unique sound and style remain a stronghold in rock music, and his iconic mustache and rectangular soul patch are unmistakably his – Frank Zappa was a freak in his own right.

For more Zappa stuff, visit Zappa.com.

TIP: When you shave your mustache off on Saturday, trim the long whiskers with an electric clipper or scissors before taking the razor to yer lip. For inspiration: watch a guy lose his 45 year old mustache!

Movember Mustache: The Hitler

Welcome to Movember! This year, we’re doing a famous mustache series. For our mid-Movember Mustache, the Toothbrush, 2 -3 centimeters of whiskers, synonymous with one of the most criminally insane minds of modern history, Adolf Hitler.

The Toothbrush was a popular American mustache style starting in the nineteen-teens, brought to life by entertainers of the day like Oliver Hardy and Charlie Chaplin. Once brought to Germany, the younger generation immediately took it on to replace the full ornate styles like the Kaiser, the Handlebar, and the Walrus, worn by their fathers.

Hitler, 1916.

Why Hitler took the Toothbrush style on in the first place has been argued for decades. Some believe that the neat, efficient style of the period was simply adopted by Hitler out of personal preference. His sister-in-law claimed that it was she, with her dislike of his bushy, unruly mustache that urged him to cut it.

It’s now understood that Hitler preferred a fuller Prussian style as a younger man during World War 1, but had to compact his mustache to wear a gas mask, when the British developed mustard gas during the Great War. Toothbrush mustache or not, Hitler’s gas mask proved ineffective – he was gassed and temporarily blinded in 1918.

Hitler’s “ugly slit”.

Alexander Moritz Frey, who knew Hitler in the Bavarian infantry, explained his first impression of him: “At that time he looked tall because he was so thin. A full moustache, which had to be trimmed later because of the new gas masks, covered the ugly slit of his mouth.” (Source: The Telegraph)

After the war, it’s no surprise that the Toothbrush mustache style disappeared; to this day, it is the infamous symbol of one of the most evil minds the world has ever witnessed, whipping up the same emotional response as seeing a swastika.

Strangely, the Hitler style ‘stache hasn’t died out entirely. Zimbabwe’s dictator, Robert Mugabe, wears a mutation of the Hitler, called a “Philtrum”, named after the place it grows, in the groove of the upper lip.

Mugabe started out okay, voted into power in 1980 and at first, “delivered on promises of peace, reconciliation with the white minority, and social development.” (Source: PBS) But as history has shown us, Mugabe terrorized, abused, and murdered his own people.

“Mugabe must be viewed as the 21st century Hitler because of the deaths and suffering of Zimbabweans under his rule,” Anglican bishop of Pretoria said in 2008. Another South African bishop explained Mugabe was a “person seemingly without conscience or remorse, and a murderer”. Sound familiar?

I found in my travels a story of Frank Spisak, convicted Ohio murderer who, in 1982, shot three people to death, and wore a Hitler mustache at his trial. For you old school Spiderman fans, J. Jonah Jameson, Peter Parker’s angry, screaming boss at the Daily Bugle, out to squash the web-headed Spiderman, was another nasty figure who wore the Hitler style mustache.

Could the Hitler and pseudo-Hitler mustache styles have drawn out their delusional cruelty?

In his excellent 2007 Vanity Fair article, Becoming Adolf, Rich Cohen explains his take on the Toothbrush as being “the most powerful configuration of facial hair the world has ever known. It overpowers whoever touches it. By merely doodling a Toothbrush mustache on a poster, you make a political statement.”

But just when a pattern begins to form, along comes Michael Jordan.

No one but basketball star himself knows why he chose to wear this mustache for a 2010 Hanes underwear commercial, but he caused a furor when he sported the ‘stache of der Führer:

Ironically, the mustache helped to increase Hanes’ sales, according to CBS, but since Jordan’s been called on it, it hasn’t been seen since. No surprise there.

But it’s still not dead. British comedian, Richard Herring, sports a Toothbrush in his show, Hitler Mustache, to draw attention to voter apathy in the UK, and to see if he can associate the mustache style with something other than the leader of the Third Reich.

Herring admits that when he first grew the Hitler, he got paranoid and feared being assaulted by someone in the street, but eventually became comfortable with it for his paying audience and for a reclamation of the mustache style “as a political protest against the BNP (British National Party)”, saying he was “using the Hitler moustache to oppose fascism.” (Source: BBC)

Creating a positive connection with the Hitler mustache will take a lot of work. And many generations.

TIP: For those of you in mid-Movember mustache depression, check out this great Movember video for support from Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation)!

The power of men’s shoulders

It has always been my opinion that a man’s strength lies in his shoulders. Whereas women’s bodies have two expanses – the shoulders and the hips that meet at the waist (the smallest point of a woman’s torso and what I think of as the point of our femininity), men’s shoulders are much larger, broader, and rounder, holding his power and displaying his magnificence.

Zoologist, Desmond Morris, said in his BBC series, The Human Animal,  that a man’s wide shoulders above a narrow  waist is considered the most appealing. This classical shape speaks of a strong, healthy, and masculine body, and men often wear clothes to draw attention to the breadth of their shoulders, exaggerating their size, and visually increasing their power.

Saskatchewan Roughriders

Take football players for example. Their padding is there to protect their shoulders but also to magnify them. Football uniforms exaggerate a player’s small waist and wide chest and shoulders, undoubtedly to intimidate the opposing team with their size, strength, and power.

Albeit all of the protective equipment worn on the “battlefield” of the football stadium, these men are not in the mortal danger that underpadding was created for – protection from weapons.

War

Unfortunately, where there is disagreement, there are wars, and with wars come weapons. The use of weapons calls for protection, and throughout history, body protection has come in different forms – thick quilted fabric, leather armor, and metal armor, each type with its own kind of shoulder protection.

In Medieval times, armies and knights wore rounded, moveable metal plates called pauldrons, worn to protect the shoulders in battle. Over these rounded pieces, armored fighters wore a gardbrace to protect the shoulder of their free arm. Sometimes two gardbraces were worn with raised guards at the top to deflect blows to the neck.

Henry VIII’s already enormous frame was further exaggerated by his armor. He wore one gardbrace with a huge guard (sometimes in the form of large spikes) on one shoulder – as seen on the left. Also note the armored codpiece peeking out of the faulds of his breastplate – even in battle, never forget the King’s penis!

Read this interesting take on Henry’s enormous girth in Daily Mail UK.

In Japan, the Samurai tradition paid special attention to the shoulders of their costume. Real Samurai wore the sode, rectangular shoulder protectors made of iron or wood strips laced together with leather. These shoulder pieces were very large during periods when bow and arrows were used as main weapons, getting smaller as Japanese armies operated on horseback. (Source.)

For modern men who wish to don armor but don’t feel like carrying around 45 lbs of extra weight, I found a Korean designer on Etsy who has created a wool “armor” hoodie, complete with fabric pauldrons, and designed so the eye moves up to the powerful shoulders.

Even when not in battle proper, men’s shoulders have been excessively decorated to draw attention to this manly body feature.

Matador costume, Museum in Ronda Bullring Arena, Ronda, Andalusia, Spain

Before bullfighting was recently (and thankfully) banned in Spain, Matadors risked goring by bulls, but strangely, their costumes offered little protection from the hard horns of an angry bull.  These  costumes featured short pants, long stockings, and a beautiful jacket with hombrera, heavily decorated shoulder pads, again drawing attention to the virile Matador’s V shape.

Because there was such little protection for the bullfighter, I’m assuming that the gorgeous, heavily adorned costume was meant for show, drawing attention to the beauty of the Matador who received for his work not the spoils of war, but roses tossed out when the crowd was pleased with his performance.

Character shoulders

Wide, majestic shoulders can give a man the illusion of size, making him more imposing than he actually is. On film and on stage, wide, exaggerated shoulders speak of size and power in heroes and villains.

Hero types are often young and strong, like Thor of The Avengers. Thor’s power is displayed through  (the illusion of) his wide shoulders.

The actor underneath does not have particularly imposing shoulders, so the costume designer illustrates Thor’s power through the illusion of big, powerful shoulders in a V-shaped breastplate with an exaggerated cape growing out of it, drawing the eye to the girth of the breastplate and the colour of the cape instead of the width of the arm.

The power suggested by broad shoulders can add a touch of menace to a villainous character. Darth Vader is tall, dark, and broad-shouldered, cloaked in a large black cape to make him a very intimidating and imposing figure.

Orcs of Middle Earth have little patience for each other and strongly adhere to their hierarchical power structure. Like any other army, these horribly ugly Lord of the Rings creatures wear costumes that demonstrate their military position, and their the shoulder pads speak of their rank.

Here, the small, whiny foot soldier Orc wears what looks like bear fur shoulder pads on his cloak, decorated with what I’m guessing are pig’s teeth. Senior Orcs not only stand taller, but wear larger leather shoulder pieces for instant visual recognition of their rank.

Suits

Modern day armies flood into office buildings every day in their version of armor – the suit. Suits, with their padded, squared-off shoulders suggest credibility and authority, but suit shoulders can get out of hand – remember the 80s? Men and women wore suits with massive, jutting padded shoulders to exemplify power. While these magnificent expanses spoke of the wearer’s clout, they didn’t do much to frame the face – to0-wide shoulders diminish the head, giving visions of melons on teeter-totters.

Reinventing after divorce

Ted, before

The first time I met him, Ted wore disheveled biking clothes and his eyes were bloodshot from laser surgery a few weeks before. He sat hunched over his coffee cup, eyes averted, arms occasionally crossed over his chest. He seemed absent somehow.

Soon off the top of our conversation, he talked about his failed marriage and his imminent divorce. He said he numbed out and lost 20 pounds of muscle after his wife told him about her affair.

Ted was a wounded man but he was ready to change. He just didn’t know how.

As a men’s image consultant, I make it my job to transform men into their genuine selves – not the men that society demands. I believe that all men are wonderful, but many have been influenced by outside forces that want to control and mold him into who they think he should be.

To me, this is abusive to men and their true nature that should be nurtured and celebrated.

Ted’s story

After Ted hired me, I got to know him through an in-depth questionnaire so I could understand his character, his life, and how he sees the world; what he likes to do, what he reads, who he listens to, and what kind of art he likes.

Ted, after

Failed relationships with women tend to put the fear in men, and Ted said at the beginning of our first session that I was the only person on earth who knew this much about him, and he was a little nervous about that. I assured his emotional safety and dove into the character of this interesting man. I began to understand what a handy and creative guy he is – Ted can take a brick chimney apart with his bare hands and he loves Steve McQueen movies.

“Simply by meeting with Leah and talking about the good things we both wanted for me was, in and of itself, a change,” Ted explains, “My many negative thoughts were replaced by hopeful, positive ones. We spoke about the past but never dwelled on it – our immediate focus was on making a positive change in the near future.”

Our bodies tell the truth even when we choose not to. Ted’s body language told the story of his battered emotions and fragile ego. I gave him my observations.

Females are born with the ability to read faces and respond to eye contact. Since Ted intended to get past his bad relationship and meet more women, I assigned homework to work on his gaze to come across as sincere and present, asking for updates every week. After a few weeks of conscious eye contact, Ted said that he felt “so much more powerful” in his interactions with women, and they responded well to him.

When we moved into the physical part of process, we worked on body consciousness, body proportions, lifestyle assessment, and colour analysis that cleared his skin, brought his eyes into focus, and turned up his handsome. We were ready to build a new, efficient, and flattering wardrobe to give Ted fewer pieces to fuss over, more outfits to wear, and a new way to express himself.

“After getting out there in my new wardrobe, I’m happy about every  decision I made. I’ve never received so many unprovoked compliments from people before,” Ted says,”I think guys in similar situations can have a similar experience in the image program, but they have to want change and be entirely open to it.”

The short end of the emotional stick

I looked for ways to further support Ted on his journey and was at once horrified but not surprised to see that there is a small amount of support for divorced dads and a comparatively miniscule amount of support for divorced men without children, like Ted.

This seems to say that if the man isn’t supporting other lives, he’s useless.

The lack of emotional support translates into a familiar and unjust message of men being expected to suck up all of the pain associated with divorce and carry on as if nothing happened.

A social attitude like this is a catalyst for drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and in some cases, suicide. This casts a terrible shadow on our society and from my perspective, is an example of sexism and emotional violence against men.

I found a therapist in Toronto who specializes in divorce. Bernie Golden is a counsellor/psychotherapist and family mediator. He also facilitates a Separation and Divorce Self-Help Group.

Bernie recognizes the social need to support men in their struggles “because men hurt and they deserve to have that hurt acknowledged; men should have an accessible and effective network of supports, and if they don’t, this can have a significant negative impact on a person’s emotional and physical health.”

He too acknowledges the societal problems that arise when people’s struggles are not recognized or supported, saying that when emotional difficulties are ignored, we are all diminished and we all suffer from this neglect.

“My clients often express their frustration over the lack of support for men,” he says, “I hear my client’s frustration when they reach out for individual support from friends and family; when they reach for support from non-profits, organized groups, and professionals, and I hear about the frustration around not feeling supported or understood from a larger societal perspective.  Many men perceive and are faced with a societal indifference to providing them with the emotional support that they need.”

Men in Toronto can get in touch with Bernie at 416-951-1288 or through berniegolden.com.

Services

Society is (very) slowly noticing the difficulties that divorced men face.

Google anything about divorced men and you’ll find mostly legal and financial websites, some more bitter than others, to support men during their most difficult times. It is truly shocking how few services there are for the divorced man.

I knew there had to be more, so I kept searching.

I found a wonderful specialized interior design service that reworks space for people in states of transition, namely divorced men.

Deirdre Dyment, of the Deirdre Dyment Design Group in Toronto, helps to create beautiful, happy homes for clients after life-changing events.

“There’s much more involved in leaving the matrimonial home than packing a suitcase and signing a lease,” her website says, “I want to create an environment that will inspire and get the individual that has moved excited about the next chapter of their life.”

Now we’re getting somewhere.

I came across a women’s dating movement in the UK that has its sights set on divorced men.

The PUMAs – women on the hunt for Previously Married and Attractive men, see divorced men as having greater relationship experience, with “the likelihood they will be more sensitive to their partner’s needs, and that they have demonstrated serious commitment in the past,” says this Daily Mail story.

Though this is focused in Britain, I’m quite sure there are PUMAs prowling  the North American continent as well, gents. After reading the news story, I can absolutely see why smart women would want a man experienced with relationships and with women.

Things are slowly changing for divorced men, but we have a long way to go.

Ted is on a new road now. He’s had a fun summer, feeling better about himself,  juggling women that seem to have come out of the woodwork, and taking a new pride in himself.

“While the whole ordeal may seem a bit overwhelming, I think it’s well worth it for men to invest a few dollars more in themselves,” Ted says in support of his broken brothers, “I went through the image process and I feel comfortable and confident and much more like the man I actually am, not the man my divorce made me feel like.”

Dabbing like a gent

A client recently asked me what he should do when sweat runs into his eyes on a hot and humid summer day.

“Good question,” I said, “there is no reason that a gentleman shouldn’t do as a gentlewoman would on a hot day – use a hankie.”

I pulled out my embroidered scarlet vintage hankie and showed him what I do with it when I find beads of sweat rolling down my face: dab. Simply dab.

Using an absorbent linen or cotton handkerchief to take up the sweat is a much nicer alternative to wiping one’s forehead with a sleeve or the back of your hand. Using a hankie is politer and much more stylish.

In Style & The Man, Alan Flusser, a permanent member on the international best-dressed list, writes of the pocket handkerchief:  “Immediate availability has always been a requirement for any handkerchief; the user must have ready access to it if he is to head off that unexpected sneeze before it becomes a source of embarrassment, mop up the spilled champagne before it flows into the lap of a guest, or perform other social niceties.”

As Mr. Flusser reminds us, the practical handkerchief must not be confused with the dress handkerchief that graces the breast pocket of a jacket. This workable handkerchief, also known as a pocket handkerchief, is meant to be stored in your back trouser pocket, as Flusser says, but if this is not possible, I’m sure no one would mind if you kept your hankie in an outside jacket pocket or if the fit allows, the front trouser pocket.

In the old days, a proper gent would always carry a hankie for nose-blowing or mopping the brow on a hot day. I remember my grandfather always had a linen hankie in is pocket and kept a drawer full of handkerchiefs because he bought them in packets of three. These are still readily available in men’s furnishings departments. For you groovier types, seek out vintage stores for cool, old-fashioned hankies or search for them online.

Random hankie tips:

• Men’s hankies tend to be plainer with straight or rolled hems; women’s hankies are more colourful and often have lace or edging on hems;
• For denim or sporty days, carry a colourful bandana, but go with a plainer, quieter hankie at the office – either way, hankies are a great way to express yourself;
• At the end of the day, toss your hankie in the wash or rinse under the tap, otherwise you’ll have a soggy wad to deal with.

For more handkerchief info, see the Hanky panky post, and for more info about combating perspiration, check No need to sweat it.

SPF for men

Gents, it’s time to be clear on summer skin. Since humanity blew a hole in the earth’s ozone layer, it is now dangerous for us to go outside without a protective barrier between us and the sun’s rays. This is why we need to use products that contain SPF, or Sun Protection Factor – sunscreens that reflect and/or absorb the sun’s harmful rays. Any dermatologist I’ve ever spoken to has stressed the importance of using an SPF in our skin care regimen because of the effects of sun exposure – accelerated aging and the possibility of skin cancer.

A frightening statistic from the Canadian Cancer Society states 5500 people will diagnose with melanoma this year and of these, 950 will die. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Getting into the habit of using a moisturizer with sun protection is a great insurance policy.

This summer, you may notice some changes in the wording on your sunscreen bottles. In 2011 in the U.S., regulation changes require sunscreen products to follow a standardized labeling system to specify products that have the best protection from harmful solar rays. The system will also ban the words “sunblock” (the word gives the false impression of protection), “sweat-proof” and “waterproof” (also false claims – products claiming to be water-resistant must indicate how long the product remains effective when exposed to water). See this CTV piece for more information.

Under the new standardized labelling system, only sunscreen products that protect against both UVB (causes sunburn), and UVA (leads to premature aging) radiation and have an SPF of 15 or higher, will qualify to be labelled as “Broad Spectrum.”

Janet Woodcock, director of the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation in the U.S., says “sunscreen that is not broad spectrum or is broad spectrum but is lower than SPF 15 will have to carry a warning statement saying it has not been shown to prevent skin cancer or early skin aging.”

This is good news.  Below is information to help educate you about sunscreens and the nasty chemicals that are present in many. Following this, I’ve added some links to help you make wiser, natural choices in sunscreen.

Info and options

I spoke to Sara Schlatter, an Arbonne Consultant who educated me about her ethical, premium, green, Swiss-formulated brand of personal care products. The Arbonne line uses botanicals and antioxidants in their sunscreens, as opposed to some of the toxic stuff we’re offered on store shelves in North America. I learned that in Switzerland, ingredients must  be proven safe before used in products. Conversely,  ingredients can be added until proven harmful in Canada (what’s wrong with this picture?).

Arbonne does not contain preservatives (products are fresh!) and their literature explains hazardous ingredients to stay away from, so fellas, do read your product labels:

• PABA: Though rarely used now in sunscreens, beware of products that contain the ingredient. Forty percent of the population is sensitive to it, experiencing red, itchy skin;
• Parabens (butyl-, ethyl-, methyl-, and propyl-): Parabens are used as preservatives. They may cause skin rashes, redness, and pain, or, after inhalation, irritation of the eyes and the mucosa of the nose and throat. Parabens may also mimic estrogen, but because they are common in sunscreens, avoiding them may prove difficult.

–>When reading your product ingredient list, parabens will be found close to the end. When you look at your labels, you’ll find that parabens are in almost everything you buy in a drug store – shaving products, shampoo, deodorant, and moisturizers, so think about investigating a local health food store and trying an alternative brand that does not contain parabens.

• Padimate-O and Parsol 1789 (2-ethylhexyl-4-dimethylaminobenzoic acid and avobenzone): These two chemicals have the potential to damage DNA when illuminated with sunlight. On the skin’s surface, these chemicals do protect from UV damage; however, once absorbed into the skin, these same chemicals can prove destructive;
• Alcohol, Isopropyl (SD40) dries up the skin, promotes brown spots and premature skin aging;
• Propylene/butylene glycol is derived from petroleum. Causes skin irritation, dermatitis, may inhibit cell growth, can cause liver and kidney damage.

If this isn’t scary enough, the chemicals used as fragrance and filler in many personal care products can affect sperm count and testosterone, and influence the function of the liver, kidney, and lungs. I’m not sure that saving a little money by buying cheap grooming products is worth putting your internal organs, and your general health at risk, but I’ll let you be the judge.

To make your life a bit easier, choose a moisturizer with SPF already in it so you only have one product to apply. Here are some good options:

Arbonne Facial Moisturizer with SPF 20

Alba Mineral Protection Facial Sunscreen

Avalon Organics Vitamin C Renewal Broad Spectrum SPF 15

JASON Natural Facial Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF20

Keep in mind that the more inexpensive the product, the less pure it’s going to be and undoubtedly, the more chemicals it will have in its formula.  Sara says the most effective sunscreen should contain at least 7% zinc oxide or titanium dioxide to protect against UVA and UVB rays, with an SPF of 15 or higher.

People with rosacea/eczema/sensitive skin should always use a sunscreen, and Sara recommends Abonne’s ABC baby sunscreen because it’s “fab and gentle“. Sara told me that David Cassidy almost had to stop playing guitar because his eczema was so bad and Arbonne saved his career!

Seal your lips

AskMen.com says “lips lack both oil glands to keep them naturally moist and melanin to provide protection against harmful UV rays.”

Men, your lips need special protection too and there are lots of SPF lip balms available. Sara urges men to protect their lips but with products that do not contain petroleum jelly (Vaseline), mineral oil, and paraffin – these begin life as crude oil. Using petroleum-derived products will eventually dry out your lips, and you’ll be absorbing the same stuff that axle grease and butane are made of. These petroleum products smell bad and are masked with toxic synthetic fragrances, not to mention chemical colours and texture enhancers. The Arbonne balm option has an SPF 30 and is made with chamomile extract and vitamin E among other good things. Alba also offers non-petroleum SPF balms.

If you’re out to protect your skin, gents, and I hope you are, there are lots of ways to keep away from harmful solar rays: stay out of the sun, avoid tanning beds, wear hats, and keep covered; slather an SPF of 15 – 30 on hands, face, neck, and anywhere else you’ll be exposed to sun.